left biblioblography: SO THEY'VE FOUND THE TOMB - BUT I THINK THERE'S GOING TO BE A LOT OF UNHAPPY CHRISTIANS

Sunday, February 25, 2007

SO THEY'VE FOUND THE TOMB - BUT I THINK THERE'S GOING TO BE A LOT OF UNHAPPY CHRISTIANS

A shout out to a troll at the NGB for this one: someone supposedly discovered the tomb of Jesus' family.

Uh-oh.

From Isreality bites:

"The inscribed box, with some human remains still inside, apparently was crammed into an old cave near Talpiyot, an industrial zone in Jerusalem, alongside nine other two thousand year-old sarcophagi allegedly containing the bodies of Mother Mary, the carpenter Joseph, a little-known brother called Jofah, Mary Magdalene, and, most surprisingly of all, Jesus's son Judah, who technically could be considered the grandson of God."

Mary Magdalene? I didn't know she was family. Adopted?

"To read more, click here.
"It sounds like a sequel to a Da Vinci Code sequel. And just as profitable. The filmmakers
express aim is to cross the excitement of Indiana Jones-style tomb raiding with Dan Brown's bold approach to modern theology, all in a 90 minute video.
"A couple of these mysterious bone boxes are about to be unveiled in New York City, in good time to promote Cameron's latest made-for-television movie, which will be broadcast on Discovery Channel in the US, Channel 8 in Israel, and Channel 4 in Britain before Easter.
"Devout Christian congregations will abhor Cameron's publicity stunt as absolute heresy. Some 27 years after archaeologists first uncovered this unprepossessing family tomb containing half a dozen inscribed caskets and four unmarked ones, the sensational scientific claims now threaten to debunk belief in the Resurrection, a cornerstone of the Christian faith. The New Testament recounts how three days after crucifixion, Jesus arose from the grave (which is now supposedly the site of the Church of the Holy Sepulchre at the heart of Jerusalem's old walled city.) But scientists, archaeologists, DNA experts, statisticians,and antiquities specialists are suggesting that Jesus's burial site was on a hill rather far away from the old rugged cross.
"

Hoo-boy, I can see Pat Robertson having a stroke in my mind's eye.

"Repercussions of the initial discovery were minimized, even after Israeli professor Amos Kloner deciphered the inscriptions containing such profoundly familiar Biblical names a decade ago, because the Israeli Antiquities Authority stored the caskets in their Beit Shemesh archive. Little publicity leaked out. Biblical archaeology has proven to be a minefield, albeit with a certain sects' appeal. Who could have foreseen that forensic tests could be made on Jesus' bones in a New York crime lab? If you thought that the Israeli archaeologists' salvage tunnel close to the Al Aqsa mosque ignited some religious fury, get ready for another white hot fight. Remember the Spanish Inquisition? Or the fuss over teaching Darwin's theory of Evolution? After Monday's press conference, Izzy imagines it won't be long before an intelligent design component emerges for the holy caskets in the cave. "King of the World", eh?"

So let's get REAAADDDDY TO RUMMMMBBBLEE.

Oh, shoot: this means I may have to burn my Jesus-myther card (you know, the one we get when we attend the Midnight Black Mass, anoint each other with oil, and sacrifice - oops! The High Shaman's gonna - oops again!).

I trust we can see the ripples generated? Not only was Jesus only a man, he had at least ONE kid, and the Ascension becomes a hot bone of contention (pun intended).

Of course, this could simply be a bunny trail - as in Alice Down the Rabbit-Hole - but we shall see, shall we not?

Till the next post, then.

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16 comments:

beepbeepitsme said...

Hey, no jokes about Alice down the bunny trail - that is my job. ;)

I have to ask the question. How can anyone verify that the bones found belong to jesus, james, joseph, or the christmas fairy?

Do they have a sample of jebus DNA or summat?

Krystalline Apostate said...

BBIM:
Hey, no jokes about Alice down the bunny trail - that is my job. ;)
I thought of you when I wrote that, darlin'.
How can anyone verify that the bones found belong to jesus, james, joseph, or the christmas fairy?
It's here::
"Six of the ten coffins were carved with inscriptions reading the names: Jesua son of Joseph, Mary, Mary, Matthew, Jofa (Joseph, identified as Jesus’ brother), Judah son of Jesua (Jesus’ son - the filmmakers claim)."

say no to christ said...

When is it suposed to air? I find this very hard to believe, but I can't wait to see how the christians will react.

Krystalline Apostate said...

SNTC - it's not really clear, but it should be sometime this year/next?
I'm not really too pumped up on this - Cameron supposedly did a take on the Exodus, allegedly proving that it occurred.
We'll see.
As to reaction - expect acrimony to thicken the air.

remy said...

I for one, am totally convinced that they have found the body of jebus and probably mom and step-dad too. There is actully more evidence in the Buybul for his brother James (Jimmy of Nazereth).

I am ecstatic over this 'cause I am also convinced that they will also, after all this time, find the sacred remains of Jimmy Hoffa. I can finally get closure. Praise Bee.

Krystalline Apostate said...

remy:
I am ecstatic over this 'cause I am also convinced that they will also, after all this time, find the sacred remains of Jimmy Hoffa. I can finally get closure. Praise Bee.
LMAO! Jimmy Hoffa - snort, chuckle.
You ain't a Teamster, perchance? ;)

karen said...

What a friend we have in Jesus bones!
All that drivel we've had to bear...
The Resurrection's 'bout to hit the fan...
Take unto the lab a smear.

Sing along now!

I know, prolly just a lot of hooey.
But I'd trade a historically proven jeebus for nixing the crucifiction and res-erection any day.

'specially if it means jeebus made a family with Mary M. Har. I can see the xians doin' the spin cycle now.

Krystalline Apostate said...

karen:
But I'd trade a historically proven jeebus for nixing the crucifiction and res-erection any day.
Ditto to that! Can I get, I mean, can I get a 'Ra-men!', sistah? ;)
'specially if it means jeebus made a family with Mary M. Har. I can see the xians doin' the spin cycle now.
There are times when schadenfreude is a dish best served cold, indeed.

beepbeepitsme said...

RE: ""Six of the ten coffins were carved with inscriptions reading the names: Jesua son of Joseph, Mary, Mary, Matthew, Jofa (Joseph, identified as Jesus’ brother), Judah son of Jesua (Jesus’ son - the filmmakers claim)."

Have they dated the coffins or the inscriptions?

Was the writing in aramaic, hebrew, latin, greek or "christian?" (Christian is when they spell "funny." ) - Oh, that was cruel, coming from she who never spell checks.

Was the inscription on the coffin G_D? lol (Ok, I am being very silly now...)

And when can I order my piece of jebus toenail?

Krystalline Apostate said...

BBIM:
Have they dated the coffins or the inscriptions?
Well, the article says that it's been kept under wraps for the last 27 yrs ago.
Unsure if this is just spin, or truth.
And when can I order my piece of jebus toenail?
It wouldn't surprise me if there was a website somewhere selling indulgences.

beepbeepitsme said...

The mention of indulgences got me thinking back to something my mother said.

She said that when she was cremated (cremation is big in my family, though not compulsory), that under NO circumstances were we to keep her ashes on a shelf and gaze at them fondly.

He reasoning for this was that we couldn't be sure that it was her ashes in there, it might be the ashes of some old guy's penis.

Needless to say, "her ashes" found a pleasant home in the flower bed instead.

And it is her funny stories which I remember fondly. ;)

Krystalline Apostate said...

BBIM:
Well, at least no 1 made an 'ash' of her.
Hehehehe.
My older sister (who's about 1 1/2 years older than me) had a cat who passed on. She had the damn thing cremated, put in an urn.
I started driving a bunch of people home from a family holiday (I don't drink, the rest of my 'entourage' were quite toasted), & she started demanding I turn the car around to get the urn (she left it behind).
I of course, refused.
She was drunk, but it was still somewhat wiggy.
She's not religious, either.

say no to christ said...

Hey don't laugh at us animal lovers. I had my English Springer Spanial cremated and I will have my saymoed and my cat and my peek/lhasa when their time comes. Right now Tatter is in my closet and that is where the others will go till my husband retires and we settle in one place where I can spread their ashes in the garden. Not because I think they are spirits, but because their energy(ashes/fetilizer) will continue to create new life that will remind me of them and how much I loved them. I know its silly to some folks, but my life revolves around dogs and my pets have played a big part in that.

Krystalline Apostate said...

SNTC:
I stand duly chastened. I'm just not the sort who'd pack an urn around, I suppose.

say no to christ said...

Lol, all is forgiven. IT just shows how strong our love can be even for another species.

The Watcher said...

I'd just like to add: If Jesus' tomb says "Jesus" on it, you KNOW it's true.

I bet it was even dated 0 AD - 35 AD.