left biblioblography: THE MUSLIM MENAGERIE OF MIRACLES

Monday, August 07, 2006

THE MUSLIM MENAGERIE OF MIRACLES






Yeah, when I saw this, my reaction was probably much like yours: "What the HELL is that thing?" I thought it was an outtake from that movie 'Extro'. Nope. Found it here, along with this little blurb:
"This picture below was taken this morning near the Safaniya beach in the eastern province. Aramco security & industrial security force are debating as to whether to issue a warring close the beach or do nothing and assist in man power control investigation resulted that there are more than 3500 for this kind of human-animal in the tanajib area. It is 25 years since last time it was seen in the tanajib area."
How is this anything resembling a miracle? 3500 of these things?
Obviously, someone got a bit too creative with Photoshop. Imagine your kid saying, "It followed me home, can I keep it?"


Yes, we've all heard about the 'jesus on a tortilla', statues of madonnas weeping blood, etc.
Apparently, this sort of silliness isn't restricted to the Westerners.

Here's another interesting one - apparently, Allah's signature is in the palms of our hands:

















And in fruit, as well:








Oh, let's not forget the world itself (over Africa, no less):







Even Apollo 11 took a picture:









I mean, they're just squiggly lines, people. These are no more miracles than that 'cross' they found in the wreckage of the WTC. If I was daft enough to go looking, I could probably find my own damn cursive signature in a pork chop. If I squinted at ten thousand of the bloody things, if I wanted to find it badly enough, I sure as hell would. I mean, who hasn't seen a recognizable shape in the clouds? If you drink enough, or pound down piles of mind-altering substances, you'll see things. Likewise with the religious. They even have praying trees (aye caramba! Blair Witch of the ME!), and trees that resemble the word 'Allah' (peanut butter and jelly be upon him).

Goddam allegory.

Of course, the most famous of these miracles, was this:
"Did The Prophet Muhammad split the moon as a miracle?

The Hour has approached, and the moon split. But whenever they see a sign, they turn away and say, ‘This is evident magic.’ (54:1-2)

The miracle of the splitting of the moon was demonstrated before a certain gathering who persisted in denial of Muhammad’s Prophethood. As was related by ‘Adbullah ibn Mas‘ud, while they were in Mina’ one night, the Prophet split the moon into two by a gesture of his index finger. The halves of the moon appeared one behind the mountain and the other in front of it. Then, the Prophet turned to us and said: ‘Be witnesses!’"

Now, it doesn't take a degree to see how far out this is. It's by far smarter than that nonsense about 'the darkness that covered the land'(
Luke 23:44-46), by restricting it to a smaller group. There's a claim that an Indian king witnessed this, along with some caravans. However, much like the alleged 'darkness', there doesn't seem to be any external multiple attestations outside of...select witnesses. Completely anecdotal.
The six points listed at the link above are quite...amusing, to say the least.
Here's what I think:
  1. Splitting the moon in two for even a small amount of time would result in massive tidal waves, and all sorts of reprecussions that boggle the mind.
  2. I'm going to contact Randi, and see if he can duplicate this 'stupendous' feat (which is what led me to discover all this nonsense, by the way).
  3. I'm guessing the wine was spiked with hashish.
Anyways, I'm guessing this is the moon these folks saw:
(courtesy of a forum at Apostates of Islam)




Halloo, snackbar!

Till the next post, then.

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17 comments:

beepbeepitsme said...

What is that thing? It looks like a croc got a bit hungry, had a munch on a person and died in the act.

say no to christ said...

I agree with beepbeep about the alagator/human thing. That is exactly what that thing looks like.

Its stuff like this that reminds me how gullible people really are. I cant help but laugh my ass off at people who fall for this kind of stuff.

And the moon, OMG, if the moon split in half womens menstrual cycles would go crazy! Its bad enough that weather paterns can mess your whole cycle up. I tell you, muslim women must be completely ignorant about how the enviornment and the gravitational pull of the moon affect our menstrual cycles. I feel sorry for those women who deny and try to cut off all their natural connections to EVERYTHING in the natural world.

Krystalline Apostate said...

BBIM:
It looks like a croc got a bit hungry, had a munch on a person and died in the act.
Good guess, but closer look, no reptile jaws in sight.
I think somebody stitched a mummy to a croc torso, is my best guess.
Handsome specimen, ain't he? ;)

SNTC:

And the moon, OMG, if the moon split in half womens menstrual cycles would go crazy!

Well, actually, the fable gives the impression that it didn't last for more than a few minutes. But still, it sure would've wreaked some havoc w/someone.
I tell you, muslim women must be completely ignorant about how the enviornment and the gravitational pull of the moon affect our menstrual cycles
Well, since most muslim women don't get to speak, we don't know that.
For all we know, they (the women) have a secret network that the men don't know about, where they share knowledge that the men never hear of.

karen said...

OOH! It's Crocodile Dundee! No, wait! It's Crocodile Jesus! Yay! He's been resurrected in a form to reconcile the Bible with Darwin!
There are over 3500 of these critters, eh? Yet it's been 25 years since one's been seen? How do they know the number then? Is there one in captivity a outside of Photoshop?
Inquiring minds want to know...

Krystalline Apostate said...

karen:
OOH! It's Crocodile Dundee! No, wait! It's Crocodile Jesus! Yay! He's been resurrected in a form to reconcile the Bible with Darwin!
It's Crocodile Ali! LMAO! If the bloody thing were real, how that'd shake the scientific world, I tell ya.
Theists would come outta the woodwork to disprove that it owned a soul.
Evolutionists would have at least a century's worth of work explaining its existence.
Inquiring minds want to know...
Hey, I wonder if the Enquirer would go for something like this? ;)

mxracer652 said...

Unbelievable. The moon's really a fine piece of sharp cheddar...

Mesoforte said...

Hey, so that's the server I saved that picture to. ^_^ jk.

Perhaps I could create one too. ^_~

Krystalline Apostate said...

mxracer:
Unbelievable. The moon's really a fine piece of sharp cheddar...
& mohammed a cheese cutter. They say the moon causes men to go mad.
Evolution strikes again.

MF:
Hey, so that's the server I saved that picture to.
If your screensaver pops up w/allah's name, you're in deep poo.
Halloo snackbar!

The Intolerant One said...

Hey RA:

" "What the HELL is that thing?"

LOL, exactly my sentiments as I was looking at the photo.

The cloud photo (I perused the link) was another one.

I looked up today and saw lower fuel prices. Too bad it was just a cloud!

Krystalline Apostate said...

TIO:
LOL, exactly my sentiments as I was looking at the photo.
How something like that could be considered anything but a nightmare is beyond me, I tell ya.
I looked up today and saw lower fuel prices. Too bad it was just a cloud!
-SIGH- those days of a buck-&-1/2 a gallon are far behind us, I fear.

say no to christ said...

Ra said:"Well, since most muslim women don't get to speak, we don't know that.
For all we know, they (the women) have a secret network that the men don't know about, where they share knowledge that the men never hear of."

You are probably right. Lately I have become very frustrated with how content so many woman have become. IT is hard to rememeber how bad the majority of women all over the world really have it when you live a comfortable life. I have to constantly tell myself, just because my husband spoils me rotten doesnt mean that every woman is treated that way and most arent. So, it is up to us pampered women to get off of our content pampered asses and speak out and do what ever possible to empower those less fortunate women.

say no to christ said...

Ra said:"-SIGH- those days of a buck-&-1/2 a gallon are far behind us, I fear."

Long gone are those days. I guess we shouldnt complain too much. Shit 5 yrs ago gas was over $6 a gallon in Canada.

Krystalline Apostate said...

SNTC:
So, it is up to us pampered women to get off of our content pampered asses and speak out and do what ever possible to empower those less fortunate women.
Ramen, sistah!
Just use a little moderation, ey? ;)

brodie said...

If there's 3500 of these things, where's the rest? And I thought Muslims weren't allowed to show pictures of animals or people, because they're sacred or something like that. Surely this would be double sacred.

It reminds me of South Park when they mated a pig and an elephant.

Krystalline Apostate said...

brody:
If there's 3500 of these things, where's the rest?
I dunno, maybe they're solitary beasties?
I actually tried to hit some cryptology sites, couldn't find it anywhere else.
And I thought Muslims weren't allowed to show pictures of animals or people, because they're sacred or something like that. Surely this would be double sacred.
Double-scary, is more like it.
It reminds me of South Park when they mated a pig and an elephant.
& then the offspring look like Mr. Garrison?
What a whack episode.

baqishah said...

all of you will burn in hell and the believers will laugh on the day of judgement in front of Allah.Most of you will make fun of this but in it will be you who will be the laughing stock

Krystalline Apostate said...

Go fuck yourself, baqishah. & your ass-backwards religion for that matter.
Interesting that you comment on a 3 year old post.