Friday, September 15, 2006


“I used to be disgusted, now I try to be amused,” – Elvis Costello

In my tireless, ongoing efforts to bring you, my beloved readers, the wilder examples of baroque meritocracies gone wild, I stumbled across this precious gem.

(In my best Rod Serling voice) “Submitted for your approval. Witness if you will, ordinary folk subsumed with a meme built to stand against the loneliness of their mediocre existence…”

TITLE:UFOs: A Demonic Conspiracy
Fr. Thomas Kulp, Flying Saucer Review, Volume 45/3, Autumn 2000

Summary: There are still a surprisingly large number of people who seem to take all UFO reports with complete equanimity and, as it were, refuse to see anything "nasty" anywhere in it. Then, on the other hand, there are others, like Father Thomas Kulp, the author of this article, who take the opposite view and hold that every single case, without any exception whatsoever, is something straight out of Satan's bag.

Does that include weather balloons?

And, finally, there are also a few of us who think that the truth of the matter probably lies somewhere in the middle, and that by the very nature of things, there are bound to be some "*Goodies*" (i.e. the ANGELIC FORCES) somewhere around.

New FOX series! ‘ABDUCTED BY AN ANGEL’, starring Mel Gibson, Jenna Elfman, and any other celebrity lunatic you can name!

We shall have to go on probing all possible aspects of the question until we begin to feel that we can see a bit more clearly. (For example, while I feel strongly as anyone that there really are absolutely demonic forces active in and among mankind, there are sudden new hints, new angles, and so on, which suggest that possibly even the "Little Greys", so much abhorred by so many of us so far, might not be the real Demonic Enemies after all! But more of this later!)

Whoa! Probing what, exactly? Demonic forces? Honky please! And people wonder what I have against allegory.

Father Thomas Kulp is a priest of the Orthodox Church, and lives in the State of Wisconsin, USA, with his wife and seven children. Paul Inglesby, MA, (Oxon.) and a former Lt. Commander in the Royal Navy, is a Sub-Deacon, also in the Orthodox Church.

Orthodox? Orthodox what, is my question. The Divine Church of the Unitarian UFO ? Who’s the Bishop? Von Daniken?

As Fr. Kulp declares, many UFO researchers have noted the similarities that seem to exist between the historic descriptions of demonic attack and the current accounts of "alien abductions", and he concludes that this is no coincidence.

Oh, like the Nuns of Louviers? The Salem Witch trials? Or how about the Ursuline nuns of Loudun?

Since the term "flying saucer" was coined in the 1940s, the UFO phenomenon has intrigued and mystified serious investigators and has profoundly influenced the imaginative content of popular culture. Of particular interest are the numerous reported encounters with aliens. There can no longer be any doubt that something significant is happening. On the whole, the reported incidents can neither be regarded as hoaxes, nor as some bizarre form of collective hallucination.

As we can see here, there’s more than enough evidence to suggest otherwise:
” Explanations and Opinions
Statistics compiled by U.S. Air Force studies found that the strong preponderance of identified sightings were due to misidentifications, with hoaxes and psychological aberrations accounting for only a few percent of all cases.
Nevertheless, many cases remained unexplained. An Air Force study by Battelle Memorial Institute scientists in 1954 of 3200 USAF cases found 22% were unknowns, and with the best cases, 35% remained unsolved. Similarly about 30% of the UFO cases studied by the 1969 USAF Condon Committee were deemed unsolved when reviewed by the American Institute of Aeronautics and Astronautics (AIAA).[29] The official French government UFO scientific study (GEPAN/SEPRA) from 1976 to 2004 listed about 14% of 5800 cases as inexplicable. [30]
Despite unexplained cases, the general opinion of the mainstream scientific community is that no UFO sighting requires extraordinary explanations. On the contrary, such sightings can be explained by the following prosaic explanations: ordinary misidentification of natural and man-made phenomena deliberate hoaxes, psychological phenomena such as optical illusions or dreaming/sleep paralysis (often given as an explanation for purported alien abductions) .
Skeptics point out that most evidence is ultimately derived from notoriously unreliable eyewitness accounts. Very little in the way of solid physical evidence has been reported, and because UFO sightings are transitory events, there is no opportunity for the repeat testing called for by scientific method. Ockham's razor is invoked by such skeptics since it is considered less incredible for the explanations to be the result of scientifically verified phenomena rather than resulting from novel mechanisms (e.g. the extraterrestrial hypothesis). “

That comes out to about 25.25%, according to my calculations. About ¾ of the phenomena resolvable. This lunatic makes it sound like 100% unresolvable.

Must we concloude, then, as many have, that extraterrestrial beings are visiting Earth? This is, in fact, the message that has been communicated by the aliens themselves on various occasions, a message often cloaked in New Age terminology. A common motif is that Earth is on the verge of a dire catastrophe from which the aliens, as representatives of a more highly evolved race, can save us.

Aye caramba! Humanity as the damsel in distress? “We have met the enemy, and he is us.” –Pogo. Where did he get this ‘common motif’? An episode of TNG? ‘My Favorite Martian’? Or ‘The Day The Earth Stood Still’?

This is the stuff of science fiction. It is, of course, comforting to believe that we are not alone, that there are beings somewhere out there older and wiser than ourselves, ready and willing to save us from our own folly. Perhaps we should cast aside the apocalyptic prophecies of doom and prepare ourselves for a new age of universal peace and brotherhood. Does this scenario seem too good to be true? As the saying goes, it probably is.

Closest this yotz comes to being rational, I’d say.

Indeed, as Whitley Strieber writes concerning his own experiences, "The beings I was encountering weren't the wise and benevolent creatures that films like Close Encounters might have led one to expect. They were absolutely devastating_."

Shouldn’t’ve eaten the worm, I think.

Strieber relates how he awoke in the middle of the night and sensed a presence in his room. "I felt an absolutely indescribable sense of menace. It was hell on Earth to be there, and yet I couldn't move, couldn't cry out, and couldn't get away. I lay as still as death, suffering inner agonies. Whatever was there seemed so monstrously ugly, so filthy and dark and sinister. Of course they were demons. They had to be."

That’s what you get for watching ‘Xtro’,‘Xtro 2’, and ‘Xtro 3’ in the same evening.

In the end, however, Strieber rejected the possibility that these beings could really be demons. He did so, I suspect, not because of the evidence, but rather because the concept of the demonic simply does not fit into his worldview. In fact, this prejudice against an objective personification of evil is widespread today, even while the idea of angels is enjoying a renewed popularity.

Argument ad numeram – three million kooks can’t be wrong, right?

Nevertheless, if we are indeed being visited by extraterrestrial beings, no unified and coherent hypothesis has yet been offered to explain the multifarious worldwide manifestations of alien contact.

Only if you haven’t bothered to go look.

For a while, it appeared that perhaps the visitors were engaged in little more than a routine geological survey of Earth. Beings have been observed taking samples of rocks and other objects many times over a period spanning decades.

Note distinct lack of citations.

Then suddenly we discover that the aliens are not simply taking rock samples. They are abducting humans and conducting scientific tests, taking samples of blood and semen, even conducting breeding experiments between humans and aliens. The reports come pouring in from around the world, becoming more and more bizarre.

Hmmm…I wonder if anyone took a blood sample from these ‘witnesses’? Again, no citations.

Running through the data of purported encounters, however, is a definite thread of the irrational and absurd. Often the observed behaviour of the beings makes no apparent sense, or is downright silly.

Hey! First clue!

Consider an incident that occurred near Buenos Aires in 1968. A teenaged boy was approached by two *seemingly* ordinary men except for their unblinking gaze and their transparent legs. They told him, "*You are going to know the world.*"

They promised to take him on a flying saucer, which they showed him, and then gave him an ordinary envelope and told him to dip it in a puddle. When the boy did so, this message appeared in a very juvenile script: "*You are going to know the world. F. Saucer.*"

Transparent legs? Maybe they were wearing nylons? Unblinking eyes? Disappearing Ink? What? No citation provided.

It can be hypothesized that the purpose of the innate absurdity and sheer overwhelming quality of UFO encounters is mental confusion and a realignment of human consciousness. In other words, there is a conscious agency involved that is attempting to subtly alter and control human thought patterns and beliefs.

I’d go with the ‘mental confusion’ part. Do these people even USE an empirical method, or is it all anecdotal? I’d guess the latter.

If this is so, then the UFOs, even if they possess a real physical dimension, (which has not so far been convincingly demonstrated), are at least in part a psychic manifestation.

Mix ‘n match away, oh priest of pandemonium.

According to Strieber, "*Precognition, apparent telepathy, out- of-the-body perceptions, and even physical levitation, are commonplace side-effects of contact with the visitors. *" Indeed, experiences of alien contact seem to involve altered states of consciousness, an almost dreamlike trance state despite the apparent reality of the events described.

Er, ummm, yeah, that’s usually what happens when you take drugs.

Moreover, the psychic repercussions upon those whom I can only describe as victims are often devastating, leading to confusion, obsession, disruption of life patterns, and even -in extreme cases- suicide. Can beings responsible for so much mental and spiritual anguish be truly characterized as benevolent or even morally neutral?

Could it be that your witnesses are in the upper percentile of the walking wounded?

EVIL ALIENS. Let's consider several cases that seem to suggest a non-physical dimension to the UFO phenomenon. In 1955, near Riverside, California, children observed a disk-shaped object spinning overhead. Subsequently, there appeared a "recurring series of spectral-like shapes_. They were semi-transparent."

Did they have glow-in-the-dark frisbees back then? Children? How many? Names, history of mental illness in the family? Children? Yeah, real reliable witnesses.

In 1963, in Kent, England, four teenagers watch a glowing ovalloid descend into a wood. Suddenly, "A shambling human- sized figure with no head but with bat-like wings appeared and moved toward them_."

Teenage translation: “That’s why we stole the whiskey outta your liquor cabinet.”

In 1952, a UFO was sighted landing in Flatwoods, West Virginia, "and when the witnesses surged forward to see what had happened, a monstrous spectral-like figure with a blood-red face and glowing greenish-orange eyes floated down the hill toward the by now terrified observers." In past centuries, these apparitions would have been unequivocally labelled as demonic. Now, in our supposedly more enlightened age, we fail to see the obvious.

How many observers? Two, ten? How old? How much of an effort was made to verify this?

In 1967, in Surrey, England, a young couple stopped their car in an isolated spot and observed a hideous creature through the window, accompanied by an odour as of burning meat or a stink bomb. It is interesting that a bad egg smell (hydrogen sulphide) has been reported in numerous cases, considering that such an odour has long been associated with demonic manifestations.

And gas leakages. Again, no citations.

More dramatic is a case that occurred on October 25, 1973, in Westmoreland County, Pennsylvania. The main victim of what appears to have been a classic case of demonic infestation was a young man named Steven Pulaski, but also present was a law officer and, later on that night, a group of UFO investigators.

See here for a thoroughly hysterical recitation of this anecdote.

The affair began when a bright red ball was seen hovering over a field. As it descended, its colour changed to bright white. Next, two strange bestial creatures appeared. Someone fired a gun at the monsters and they were apparently hit, but with no result.

Throughout the night, these elusive creatures continued making their presence known. Witnesses glimpsed the creatures and heard strange sounds coming from the woods. At one point, a strong sulphur odour was detected by the observers.

It was then that Steven himself began behaving like a wild beast, as one possessed, having gone totally berserk. It was during this fugue that he recited prophecies of doom in a mocking tone of voice, accompanied by derisive laughter.

And a clear indicator of an unreliable witness.

I would suggest that in instances such as this one, the demonic element responsible for the UFO phenomenon is showing its true face. At the very least, there is a sinister, dark side to these preternatural experiences that must be seriously considered.

Cue the weird whistle from the theme of the ‘X-files’.

Yet if we are indeed dealing with predominantly psychic manifestations, we must be very cautious of accepting as objective reality the outward appearances.

Objective reality? Is he kiddin’ me, folks? Apparently not.

We should be aware, too, of traditional signs of demonic presence. For example, UFO occupants have been observed to avoid light, as in Hopkinsville, Kentucky, in 1955, where the beings always approached from the dark side of the house and not when outside lights were on.

(Cue ominous foreshadowing music)

In other cases, alien beings accost victims at crossroads, which are traditionally associated with an aura of danger and the demonic. Crosses were often placed at crossroads for this very reason. In general, the fear and confusion so often infused into the minds of victims is a sign of demonic presence.

Oy gevalt, a clear appeal to wonder.

DEMONIC ORIGINS. At this point, a word about the origin and nature of demons should be useful. According to Christian traditions, based on works by Milton and others, God created orders of so-called bodiless powers, including angels and archangels, before creating humans.

Obviously, this cat’s never heard of the Kabballah or Trithemius.

These active, intelligent spirits were intended to serve and glorify God. Like all rational beings, these invisible, angelic spirits possessed free will. It transpired that one of them, Lucifer, rebelled against God. Blinded by pride, he thought to exalt himself above the throne of God.

And off we go again.
I took the liberty of truncating some of the more obvious nonsense: the interested reader can skim the article, but rest assured, it’s nothing new.

Nor should the apparent mingling of physical and psychic manifestations in the UFO phenomenon surprise us. As one noted spiritual authority observes, "Demons also have 'physical bodies,' although the 'matter' in them is of such subtlety that it cannot be perceived by men unless their spiritual 'doors of perception' are opened, whether with God's will as in the case of holy men or against it (as in the case of sorcerers and mediums.")

And who said this, exactly? Again, assumption of acceptance.

There is not a single UFO incident on record that cannot be explained as a demonic deception or apparition.

Has this clown even LOOKED at the US Air Force’s research? I’m guessing NOT.

What is not always clear is the motivating purpose behind some of these bizarre manifestations. For example, I must admit that the whole breeding experiment scenario baffles me, except that these incidents do confuse and profoundly frighten the victims, thereby opening the human mind a bit more to the intrusion of the demonic.

Breeding experiment? Did this guy watch ‘Femalien’ One and Two a hundred times, or what?

What does seem clear, from a spiritual perspective, is that the ultimate purpose of the UFO phenomenon is to help prepare the collective consciousness of the human race for the coming of Antichrist as foretold in the Bible.

As predicted by Nostradamus!

All signs point to the fact that the end of human history is at hand. The final stage is to be the universal reign of the Antichrist, who will create a new world order and a false one- world religion. Those who through demonic deception will worship the Antichrist will be lost, while all others will be persecuted.

Bad news, padre. Author of Revelation was on drugs, and was talking about the current Roman regime.

A prophetic leader, Bishop Ignatius Brianchaninov, wrotte in the last century, "*The miracles of Antichrist will be chiefly manifested in the aerial real* where Satan chiefly has his dominion*. The signs will act most of all on the sense of sight, charming and deceiving. Again, the Antichrist will even make fire to come down out of Heaven upon the Earth in the sight of men."

And finally, he drops another name. Someone from about 140 years ago, that is.

I submit that the demonic explanation for the UFO phenomenon is inherently no less likely than any other explanation that has been offered so far.

‘Inherently no less likely’!?!?!? Howzabout ‘inherently noodle-brained’?

If we are open-minded enough to at least accept the possibility of demons, then a great deal that is presently obscure becomes understandable.

You should change your name from ‘Kulp’ to ‘Gullible’.

There is no lack of evidence and testimony regarding the reality of demons in Christian spiritual literature during the past two millenia. We should be most foolish to discard it all as mere antiquated relics of the past, while accepting as gospel the myriad New Age teachings that have permeated our society over recent decades.

Maybe Padre Dupable should invest in some research:

“Many of these signs or symptoms can be explained away by modern medical science. Seizures and convulsions are symptoms of epilepsy. Personality changes can indicate hysteria, or schizophrenia, or other psychological malfunctions. Lewd and obscene acts can indicate mental disorders. Having sexual thoughts, if taken seriously as a sign of demonic possession, would indicate nearly all of the modern population is possessed, especially the men. Distended stomachs can indicate malnutrition and other medical disorders. Also, having knowledge of future events or information is known as clairvoyance by many occultists and Neo-pagan witches which they consider a special spiritual gift. In light of such evidence it seems the term demonic possession is hardly functional anymore.
Such advanced knowledge is the reason why the Catholic Church has cautioned their priests to investigate the medical and psychological aspects of the person before performing the rite of exorcism. At present, the one main basis for declaring a person possessed seems to be a violent revulsion toward sacred objects and texts.”

Now, more than ever, it is imperative that we be wise and sober, discerning the spirits to make sure that they are truly of God, refusing to be led astray by the deceptive illusions of the Evil One.

Wise? Sober? Who’s this guy kidding, anyways?

So let’s wrap this up. There are angels and demons, they don’t blink in and out of existence, they simply touch down in their spaceships, and molest people sexually, and of course the great Beast will set down in the Mothership on the End of Days (gee, this clown left out the Whore of Babylon – no doubt that explains all the sexual ‘interbreeding experiments) and…. drum roll please…we’ll be raptured up in UFOs, by latin-speaking extraterrestrials in long robes and pointy hats, all singing ‘Ave Maria’.

Let's end this on a more humorous note, from one of my favorite comedy groups, 'The Kids In The Hall':

Any questions?

Till the next post, then.

Stumble Upon Toolbar


say no to christ said...

The ole UFO symdrome. I laugh my ass off everytime some psycho dellusional idiot claims aliens had probed his ass.

Good job at pointing out the lack of evidence for such claims! A good amount of UFO sightings are accidental glimpses of new military equipment and have been proven to be so. Of course the military isnt going to say...Oh damn...you cought us testing our new hovering fighter planes...shit..now we have to make a different one that nobody will be able to see at all.

I think Elvis Costello's quote sumes it all up for us rational people.

Krystalline Apostate said...

I laugh my ass off everytime some psycho dellusional idiot claims aliens had probed his ass.
Repressed homosexual tendencies couple w/temporal lobe epilepsy, is my guess.
A good amount of UFO sightings are accidental glimpses of new military equipment and have been proven to be so.
I believe it. Hey, got link on that?

say no to christ said...

Unfortunately I'd have to kill you if I gave you a link. ;)
I'm not sure if there is any information online about UFO's and military testings, but I do know that when the military was testing a hovering fighter jet(I dont remember what it is called but it was in the movie 'true lies')the reports of UFO's went through the roof. And my husband told me that there are lots of top secret testings of new jets and so on and they are always followed by UFO reportings and that the military always play into it cause they have a lot to loose if they admit anything. No matter how manytimes you tell a UFO believer that... they still believe in UFOs. They are as bad as god believers.

Krystalline Apostate said...

I'm not sure if there is any information online about UFO's and military testings, but I do know that when the military was testing a hovering fighter jet(I dont remember what it is called but it was in the movie 'true lies')the reports of UFO's went through the roof.
My guess is the Stealth fighter? Not a fan of our current governor, truth be told.
And my husband told me that there are lots of top secret testings of new jets and so on and they are always followed by UFO reportings and that the military always play into it cause they have a lot to loose if they admit anything.
That sure makes a lot more sense than 'ET did it!'

Aviaa said...

(In my best Rod Serling voice) “Submitted for your approval. Witness if you will, ordinary folk subsumed with a meme built to stand against the loneliness of their mediocre existence…”

Loneliness and mediocrity are quite the breeding ground for all varieties of crazies, from the UFO-spotting sort to the world-is-out-to-get-me sort to the one-particular-group-of-people-I-don’t-like-is-trying-to-ruin-my-existance-sort.

Terribly amusing post. Your Rod Serling voice was right on.

Krystalline Apostate said...

Terribly amusing post. Your Rod Serling voice was right on.
Thanks. You should hear my real life impression. I've been told it's purty durn good.

say no to christ said...

Ka said:"Not a fan of our current governor, truth be told."

Me either! The lies they spew the cover ups and you know the rest. However, I dont blame them when it comes to testing top secret jets and things like that. The world they created makes it necessary and it does add to our entertainment.

Anonymous said...

It is sad that there are still some people today who want to pretend that the UFO phenomena does not exist or is a military opperation. Krystalline is a perfect illustration of a person who speaks from the vantage point of sheer ignorance on this subject. People like him are NOT abreast in this field of research, and need to stay with what they know (whatever that may be). They are SO in denial it is not even funny. The UFO phenomena today is overwhelming. Get educated!

Krystalline Apostate said...

First & foremost, you may want to re-read the post. I did indeed outline that some of the sightings are still in the unexplained category. I was attacking the opinion of the nitwit who claimed that UFOS are filled w/angels & devils.
So I'd advise that you provide some kind of PROOF - I'm open to it. But spare me the sobriquet of 'ignorant', if you'd be so kind.
Note that I said, & I quote:
"About ¾ of the phenomena are resolvable."
Now piss off.

Anonymous said...

Oh, and here is a link refuting the standard skeptical arguments against the UFO phenomena:


There is no evidence proving that UFO's are any thing more then demonic forces. There are over 10,000 reported cases in America alone of people who, while being abducted, called on the name of Christ, and were instantly delivered from the abduction experience. That should tell you something about the nature of the abductors.

Here is an interesting article by an Archbishop on the alien/demon correlation:


Krystalline Apostate said...

So let me get this straight: I, as an atheist, am supposed to believe an archbishop? I'm firmly opposed to the supernatural, you know.
So what? I should maybe keep a vial of holy water about, just in case I get abducted by aliens?
You're not on medication by any chance, are you?
I'll look over the anti-skeptics site, but the truth of the matter is,
that unless My Favorite Martian comes swooping by in spaceship, & I get taken for a ride in it, I'm going to have to say, 'nuh-uh.'
Have YOU experienced any of this phenomenon?

Krystalline Apostate said...

There is no evidence proving that UFO's are any thing more then demonic forces.
There's no evidence proving UFO's AT ALL.