left biblioblography: ‘Don’t Ask Don’t Tell’ Has Had Repercussions–Among The Fauna? WTF?

Saturday, January 15, 2011

‘Don’t Ask Don’t Tell’ Has Had Repercussions–Among The Fauna? WTF?


And just as Sarah Palin’s political career has spiraled off into nowhere (I can imagine the exquisite WHOOSHING sound as it is metaphorically whisked into oblivion), not sooner has the collective sigh hit, when another lunatic arises. Get set folks: it’s a doozy.

‘Gay demon’ exorcist claims mass animal deaths due to ‘don’t ask’ repeal

The deaths of thousands of blackbirds in Arkansas may have been caused by the recent repeal of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell," according to a self-described "prophet" who once claimed the ability to banish "gay demons."

Because of course it’s related…no wait, it’s not.

Evangelist Cindy Jacobs said on a video posted over the weekend that the strange phenomenon, that has now occurred in various places across the world, was an "answer" from God for violating his principles concerning homosexuality.

Yes, because your deity can’t just show up and say something, can he? Oh no, that’d be bad for morale. Might even prove the thing exists.

"According to biblical principles, marriage is between a man and a woman, so we have to say 'what happens when a nation makes a decision that’s against God's principles?'" she said. "Well, often what happens is that nature itself will begin to talk to us – for instance, violent storms, flooding."

Which means this gawd fella is runnin’ around whomping on…well, everybody. And has been doing it for…well, forever. Oh wait: nobody there.

Jacobs founded Generals International (GI), an international evangelical Christian group, along with her husband in 1985. She is also a member of the Apostolic Council of Prophetic Elders, a group of prophets who claim to have foreseen Islamic terrorism in 1999.

Uh huh, via use of elaborate and tricky allegory, which leaves the whole interpretation open-ended, making it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

During an evangelical conference in 2008, Jacobs conducted a mass exorcism of the audience to cast out the spirits of pornography, addiction, lust, bisexuality, homosexuality, and perversion. In another event in Texas in November, she claimed that if Latinos voted for candidates who opposed gay marriage, then God would reward them with immigration reform.

“Eenie beenie, chili weenie, the spirits are about to speak!” announced Bullwinkle once upon a time. Seriously, that’s the image that springs to mind after reading that. Now watch this spectacularly bizarre brand of logic:

"Let’s talk about this Arkansas pattern and say, could it be a pattern?" Jacobs continued. "But the blackbirds fell to the ground in Beebe, Arkansas. Well the Governor of Arkansas' name is Beebe. And also, there was something put out of Arkansas called 'Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell' by a former Governor, this was proposed, Bill Clinton."

Well certainly can’t argue with that – mostly because I don’t speak fluent crazy.

"As so, could there be a connection between this passage [Hosea 4] and now that we've had the repeal of the 'Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,' where people now legally in the United States have broken restraints with the Scripture because the Scripture says in Romans 1 that homosexuality is not allowed."

Really? My eyes cross when I read this kind of crap. While the next paragraph seems somewhat weird and worrisome:

Nearly 500 dead birds were discovered in Louisiana and 5,000 in Arkansas last week. About 100 dead birds were also found in Sweden. This week, another 100 dead birds were found along Highway 101 in California. There was no sign that the mass deaths were related to the bird flu.

There is, as always, a rational explanation:

The mass death of wildlife is a fairly common occurrence, according to the US Geological Survey (USGC) scientists. The agency said the deaths were probably caused by loud noises, such as fireworks, that startled the birds and caused them to fly into objects such as houses or trees during the night.

"Although wildlife die-offs always pose a concern, they are not all that unusual," Jonathan Sleeman, director of the USGS in Madison, said. "It's important to study and understand what happened in order to determine if we can prevent mortality events from happening again."

And to top that off,

According to USGS records, there has been 188 reported mass death of birds across the country during the past 10 years.

Pretty funny that the article included this:

The King James Bible, which most conservatives cite in pursuing policies that discriminate against homosexuals, also bans wearing gold, getting tattoos, trimming beards, divorcing your spouse, eating shellfish and wearing mixed material fabrics, among other things.

(I’d not heard about the beard thing, or wearing gold.) And as a bit of sobering afterthought,

Last year Jacobs participated in an event called "Awakening 2010," where she shared a stage with Virginia Attorney General Ken Cuccinelli.

‘Sharing a stage’ isn’t the same thing as providing counsel, or having any influence at all. Hopefully Cuccinelli treats her as civilly as he’d treat any random crazy.

I am desperately hoping that the time will come soon, where people stop treating this sort of behavior as newsworthy, or portentous, or whatnot. Likely it will not happen in my lifetime, alas. But we keep on hoping, but also we keep on fighting against the flow of supernatural belief, because at some point, an idea of logic persistently repeated will eventually sink into the collective psyche and take hold.

But I am too much the optimist.

Till the next post, then.

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1 comment:

Snowbrush said...

I certainly hope we haven't heard the last of Sarah, as I very much wanted her to run for president next go round. THAT would really be entertaining.

Bummer about god smiting those poor birds.