left biblioblography: SEPARATED AT BIRTH?

Thursday, January 04, 2007


Tell me these two entities don't bear an uncanny resemblance to each other.

That settles it - I'm now a Calimarian, due to a discovery of the Apocolocyntosis (divi Calamari) written on ancient recipe papyrus, sealed in an old clay wok found off the coast of Taiwan.

Written in the ancient tongue of Leng, it describes how Cthulhu and the Flying Spaghetti Monster both arose from the same leftovers of some vast cosmic buffet.

You don't believe me? Go ahead - Cthuugle it.

For the nonce, here's a (late) carol, that the APA hasn't heard about yet, else they might protest it:

Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!

Till the next post, then.

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HairlessMonkeyDK said...

Iä! Iä! Carbonara Fthagn!!!

[Ach! That delectable tentacle-stiffening sauce!]

Uhhh... sorry.

One of my absolute favorite Lovecraft quotes:

"The nethermost caverns", wrote the mad Arab, "are not for the fathoming of eyes that see;
for their marvels are strange and terrific. Cursed the ground where dead thoughts live new and oddly bodied, and evil the mind that is held by no head.
Wisely did Ibn Schacabao say,
that happy is the tomb where no wizard hath lain, and happy the town at night whose wizards are all ashes.
For it is of old rumour that the soul of the devil-bought hastes not from his charnel clay, but fats and instructs the very worm that gnaws;
till out of corruption horrid life springs, and the dull scavengers of earth wax crafty to vex it and swell monstrous to plague it.
Great holes secretly are digged
where earth's pores ought to suffice,
and things have learnt to walk,
that ought to crawl...".

It beats even poor Poe
at his own game.

Krystalline Apostate said...

I like that quote. Where's it from?
Most assuredly HPL - not Derelict, errr, I mean Derleth.

HairlessMonkeyDK said...

The quote is from "The Festival".
And no... Derleth the Dweeb had no chance to lay his hamfisted paws on it, thankfully.
Neither has his Bush-worshipping semi-intellectual brother in flabby-arms Robert M. Price.

And I must add:
I am in love with that Cthulhu carol!
The first few times I watched it,
I laughed snarkily and hearthily...
But the more you watch it,
the more -disturbing- it actually gets... It is a MASTERPIECE.

Krystalline Apostate said...

Que? What do you have against Herr Price, I wonder? Is it something he said, or wrote, or whatnot?
Of all the Lovecraftian authors, I admit I have a fondness for KlarkAsh-Ton: in my wastrel youth, a friend turned me on to Zothique - truly a marvel in decadence.
Here's a fun site:
I once owned a copy of the 'Fungi from Yuggoth' - sadly, it's vanished.
There's a new Cthulhu film coming out. I find the noxious casting of Tori Spelling to be tres...disturbing.

Krystalline Apostate said...

Here's the link.
The new blogger's bein' a bit obnoxious (for me). Sorry.

HairlessMonkeyDK said...

Let me be semi-specific, then.
You'll only have to go to Mr. Price's own website to find his political screeds.
(Written as columns for his local paper...).
It vexed me greatly to see
a man who, previously,
had devoted his magnificent intellect to delvings Cthulogical,
splooge it in bad manner.
Talk about cognitve disso-fuck-inance...
The same man who's written astute intros to several collections of horror, now horrifies me
as the perfect example of what happens when a good egg is left too close to rotten radiator of conservatism.
And that, indeed, is the eternal joke on conservatives;
that their strident adherence to a temporal status quo, wíll always, in some way, leave 'em behind...

Krystalline Apostate said...

You, perchance, can point me in said direction, HMDK?

HairlessMonkeyDK said...


... you asked for it.

Krystalline Apostate said...

And I'm still not seeing this cognitive dissonance you speak of.

HairlessMonkeyDK said...

Uncy, I -know- ye be old n' moldy...
But ye eyes an' clickin' fingers can't be THAT tired, can they?

Go to

Then click on "COLUMNS",
then "MINDS EYE".

well, take your pick.
Each one is pretty much an idiotic screed wrapped in a newspaper column.

"Too many cooks" is advocacy for dictatorship, no matter how he tries to smear garish lipstick on the severed pig's head.

"Debacle on Thirty-Fourth Street"
is his moronic campaign in the War on Christmas.

And the top turd in the already overflowing bowl is:
"My Foreign Policy",
which is selective delusion carried to it utmost extreme.

The man has not only lost his marbles...
He's purposefully swallowed them
and now can't understand why he's choking.
Pearls... meet swine.

Krystalline Apostate said...

Thanks. Two outta 3. I'm ambivalent about the 'debacle' thing, but his foreign policy & the dictatorship idea?
Not thrilled. In the least.

beepbeepitsme said...

Someone make a comment on my latest article before I become convinced that it is invisible. ;)

My trolls have left me. I am dejected and disappointed. There are no reliable trolls anymore...

I have had a visit from the frank walton troll, but even they seem not up to snuff.

Krystalline Apostate said...

Someone make a comment on my latest article before I become convinced that it is invisible. ;)
Hey, things are slow everywhere. I'm down -47% from last year.
My trolls have left me. I am dejected and disappointed. There are no reliable trolls anymore...
Hmmmm...you still messing w/that Chaka Khan feller? ;)
Why they rarely bother me is a mystery.
I have had a visit from the frank walton troll, but even they seem not up to snuff.
Yeah, I meant to ask you: I left a comment coupla days ago (for John-Boy walton), which hasn't appeared. Something to the effect of asking him if he could go an entire month w/o bashing an atheist?

karen said...

Off topic, I guess, but I wanted to tell you I had one of those flying dreams last night. It was both spectacular and fightening. I was flying and was about 18 yrs old. I decided to fly to the house of this guy I once had a crush on. I was going to ask him out, but was very nervous. I was within sight of the house, when I suddenly started dropping like a rock toward the ground. Just before impact, I stopped, hung above the surface momentarily, and started speeding backwards, higher and higher, faster and faster, with no control over where I was going. I took an air tour of virtually every part of Pittsburgh that I remember, only I was seeing the skyview, and always going backwards. I tried to turn my head to see where I was going, but the wind was too strong to keep my eyes open. Finally, I was plopped down outside an enormous building, egg shaped and made of concrete. I entered and started wlaking up endless spiral walkways toward the top. Outside, there were huge ball fields that were shaped like stars.
The dream got even more convoluted, involving hiding from murderous felons and watching band and choral concerts and meeting old friends. When I left the building, I could barely walk-had to lift each leg and push it forward, and had lost any flying ability. In the end, I was in a hospital bed, on a drip of some kind and my therapist was beside me, trying to communicate with me. Apparently I was in a coma. This part was a paralysis bit; I kept trying to move and couldn't. Another therapist relieved the usual one and started to mistreat me. I couldn't speak or defend myself.
Luckily, the hungry cats woke me up!
Lots more stuff happened; it was a very weird dream. I didn't have or do anything unusual before nodding off, either.

Krystalline Apostate said...

Wow, I'm semi-jealous.
Off topic, I guess, but I wanted to tell you I had one of those flying dreams last night. It was both spectacular and fightening.
I actually enjoy flying dreams (seeing as I'm a tad scared of heights, that's weird).
Here's an interesting query: do you ever recognize that it's a dream when you're dreaming? It's about the only thing Castaneda got right.
I especially enjoy those: then I get to play.
I had 1 where I was back in HS: I was in my underwear, & failing a math class. Suddenly, I realized I was dreaming (& not in HS anymore), & I went out to the football field, & tore out the chainlink fence w/my bare hands (Hulk smash!). Then I flew off.
I've got no idea what that says about me (except maybe I'm a little full of myself).

karen said...

I do at times realize I'm dreaming during the dream. I don't remember specifically being able to direct a dream, but it may be that I've done it and just don't recall.
In the paralysis dreams, I often realize at some point that I'm asleep and I try to get myself to wake up, and can't, which makes it all the more frustrating.

I enjoy the flying dreams; they're usually exhilarating. This one just wore me out, and had so many strange levels to it.

Guess you hulked out on the fence in your HS dream to show you weren't as helpless as you seemed in your skivvies! :)
When I dream of HS, I'm usually having to clean out my locker, and I feel under enormous pressure and need a u-haul to do it. Unresolved issues? Clutter in my life? Lots of both, but why go back to HS to tackle it, I wonder?

Krystalline Apostate said...

Like most people, you're an enigma wrapped in a riddle.
Has your therapist suggested taking control of a dream? I'd hesitate to recommend it, as I'm not degreed.
On a personal level, I bridle at helplessness. I fancy myself a strong individual, & have taken a 'put up your dukes' attitude over the years, at least in my dream life.
Here's an odd tale:
My ex-GF, when I 1st started living w/her, told me about this.
She told me that I laugh a lot in my sleep, & 1 time, I was punching & kicking. She said that she asked me, "Why are you hitting me?", when she realized I was still asleep. This was at the beginning, mind you: I was unused to sharing a bed w/someone. That stopped pretty quickly (I think - she only told 1 story about that - our relationship would've soured purty durn fast, which it didn't).
They say 'give me the boy at 10, I'll give the man at 40', but I think I've disproved that theory very much.

Krystalline Apostate said...

I think HS is something most people get stuck on, no matter how old you are: that was the formative years, where as an adolescent, we all were struggling w/our identities.
I only have HS dreams sporadically. I had 1 (a few years back), where a 'hood stoner' couple were messing w/my locker (I always found that odd, because in all those 'coming of age' movies/TV shows, pariahs are always targeted there, graffiti, stuffed into, etc, but I never experienced anything like that).
I wasn't going to take it, went into Bruce Lee a la mode mode, & then realized I could rise above all this crap.
I flew upwards into the air, a human eagle.
Pretty cool.

karen said...

No, I don't recall my therapist ever suggesting I take control of a dream. Not a nightime, in-your-sleep-dream anyways. I do remember leaving her wide-eyed, drop-jawed and dizzy at the retelling of some of my dreams tho. ;) She said it's no wonder I'm always so damn tired after all I go thru in my sleep! Yes, she kids me a lot-we've been together a long time.

My husband accused me of beating on him while we were both asleep, but he never woke me up to say I was doing so. Strangely, when I have dreams of physically striking out at anyone, the blow always ends impotently, as an intended slap bever actually meets the face, or else just ends up resting meekly against it.

It pisses me off; I can't even dream about knocking someone around!

Krystalline Apostate said...

Hey karen, you should really keep a dream journal, if they're that kaleidoscopically dizzying. Hell, I could probably turn 'em into short stories.
I'm not surprised your therapist hasn't suggested it. Ask her. She may dismiss it as something 'New Agey'.
My personal experience(s) are that awareness is 1/2 the battle.
Now, I don't view my nightmares as nightmares: I view them as material. What might freak some folks out, I wake up, & say: 'Cool! Good story idea!'.
'Prayerworld' was dreamed up during naptime, dontcha know.

beepbeepitsme said...


Yeah. Traffic is slow, and I do enjoy the trolls otherwise I am just "preaching to the choir." ;)