ALLEGORIES GONE WILD – JUST BEAT IT!

“You have to show them that you’re really not scared
You’re playin with your life, this ain’t no truth or dare
Theyll kick you, then they beat you,
Then they’ll tell you its fair
So beat it, but you wanna be bad” – Michael Jackson, Beat It

I was reading a Hellblazer graphic novel Empathy is the Enemy (Yeah, yeah, I read comic books for the fun of it, I’ve also read Dawkins, Shakespeare, Ellison, a plethora of divergent topics: get over it, onwards), and I came across a bizarre word – Circumcellions.

The shadows cast by the Christian world are more oft than not bizarre, even grotesque at times.

“The Circumcellions, also known as the "agonistici", were a donatist sect in North Africa that overvalued martyrdom and had a special devotion for the martyrs, rendering honors to their graves.”

I find this obsession with death…morbid, to say the least.

“The Circumcellions had come to regard martyrdom as the true Christian virtue (as the early Church Father Tertullian said, "a martyr's death day was actually his birthday"), and thus came to disregard chastity, sobriety, humility, charity, and other virtues. Instead, they focused on bringing about their martyrdom-- by any means possible.”

Yeesh, there’s a birthday party I’d gladly skip. Who gets to be the piñata? The birthday boy?

“Since Jesus had told Peter to put down his sword in the Garden of Gethsemane (John 18:11), the Circumcellions piously avoided bladed weapons and instead opted for the use of blunt clubs, which they called "Israelites." Using their "Israelites", the Circumcellions would attack random travelers on the road, while shouting "Praise the Lord!" in Latin.”

Err…ummm, did these clowns know how to read?
”Matthew 26:52. "Then said Jesus unto him, Put up again thy sword into his place: for all they that take the sword shall perish with the sword."
Vs.
Luke 22:36. "Then said he unto them, But now, he that hath a purse, let him take it, and likewise his scrip: and he that hath no sword, let him sell his garment, and buy one."

Hmmm…I wonder if these fellows migrated to Ireland?

“The object of these random beatings was the death of the intrepid martyr, who hoped that hitting someone over the head with the club would provoke the victim to attack and kill them.”

I take it that the concept of ‘turning the other cheek’ was somewhat foreign to them?

“They survived until the fourth century in Africa, when their desire for martyrdom was fulfilled due to persecution.”

Gee, THAT’S a surprise. I rather doubt they were too popular by half.
I’d call that poetic justice, of a sort.

Just another boy’s club gone defunct, I guess.

Till the next post, then.