left biblioblography: CLONING CHRIST: OF CARICATURES, CLOWNS, AND SECOND COMINGS

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

CLONING CHRIST: OF CARICATURES, CLOWNS, AND SECOND COMINGS

I was doing some research on cults and whatnot, when I came across this little beauty, at http://www.letusreason.org/curren23.htm:

"Jesus coming sooner than you think

While as Christians we have been waiting patiently for almost two thousands for the Lord to return from heaven, our wait may soon be over. According to some Jesus can be brought back by technology.

A secretive group called The Second Coming Project is trying to do just that by cloning Jesus. Michael Park of Fox news reports “Members of the group see cloning technology as a chance to literally bring Christ to the modern age.” “I'm hoping it will bring world peace,” said a source within the group, which claims 13 or 14 members from a wide range of religions, hometowns and professions. “Not some Armageddon as a tremendous battle where everyone dies, as some people believe.”

The group located in Berkeley, California hopes a cloned Jesus fetus could be placed in a female volunteer's womb and then carried to term in a totally immaculate conception. The birth is tentatively scheduled for Dec. 25, 2001, and the mother wouldn't necessarily have to be a virgin, the source said.” “ thus making Anno Domini 2001 into Anno Domini Novi 1, and all calendrical calculations will begin anew.”(Second coming project website).[Well the time has come and gone with no report on this taking place as planned. ] "

A little further down:

"Jesus Christ, as prophesied in the Bible, in time for the 2,000th anniversary of his birth. Our intention is to clone Jesus, utilizing techniques pioneered at the Roslin Institute in Scotland, by taking an incorrupt cell from one of the many Holy Relics of Jesus' blood and body that are preserved in churches throughout the world, extracting its DNA, and inserting into an unfertilized human egg (oocyte), through the now-proven biological process called nuclear transfer. The fertilized egg, now the zygote of Jesus Christ, will be implanted into the womb of a young virginal woman (who has volunteered of her own accord), who will then bring the baby Jesus to term in a second Virgin Birth.” [Jesus was actually born anyhwere from 4-7 BC. so they missed his 2,000th birthday]. "

Apparently, Ron Rhodes (of letusreason.org) needs to do a reality check:

From here -

"Origins: No, nobody is seriously planning to clone Jesus. This scheme was a put-on from the year 2000, an explanation of which could be found on the now-defunct Clone me? Second Coming Project web site, where the link for more information provided adequate evidence that their notion of cloning Jesus was just a provocative put-on. (The person behind this stunt was Kristan Lawson, who is primarily known for having published the Unabomber's manifesto in book form, and the address provided for readers to use to send their donations to "The Second Coming Project" is in fact the address of his publishing house, Jolly Roger Press.)

Even if we considered this scheme seriously, a good many "splinters of the true cross" and samples of the "real" blood, hair, and foreskin of Christ for a few dozen Jesus are of questionable origin. Determining which, if any, of these samples were genuine would be a matter of sheer trial and error, with no guarantee that we'd even know if we were successful. How could we tell if we'd really cloned Jesus? He almost certainly wouldn't look like the modern image of Christ, and it would be rather arrogant of us to assume His divinity was simply a matter of genetics."

Or even that there was any divinity at ALL. I wonder if Mr. Lawson received any donations? Man-o-man, those 'indulgences' of the old Roman See really still have a ripple effect after all.

Just what we'd need about now: MORE flavors of xtianity to grace the planet. The Church of the Cloned Christ, Mitochondriac Ministries, Church of the Divine DNA, Temple of the Holy Helix, The Mission of Holy Mitosis, oh hell, go ahead and invent a few of your own: I'm spent.

That's whatcha get, for listening to Fox 'News'.

Baroque meritocracies are just the damnedest things. There is such a thing as having TOO open a mind, I'd say.

"In religion and politics, people's beliefs and convictions are in almost every case gotten at second hand, and without examination." - Mark Twain.

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28 comments:

TheJollyNihilist said...

Ah yes...Snopes.

Perhaps that site is the closest thing to "god" I'm willing to recognize.

Nice Twain quote, BTW. He has lots of great ones.

Krystalline Apostate said...

FTM:
Perhaps that site is the closest thing to "god" I'm willing to recognize.
Answers.com, fer me. Closest thing I've found to an 'objective' source. I go to snopes when I hear bullshit. My aunt went on this stupid tour, & started telling everyone how an 'entire' bible survived the WTC collisions. Looked it up. Sure enuff, utter unmitigated crap. Next time, told her so. "But it was part of the tour!"
People are so bleedin' gullible.

udonman said...

frances i with you buddy i love snopes I have used them in the past to debunk the hotel room keys and credit card data bull

ans as far as answers ill admit i rarely use them although there info seems to always be right

I remeber the whole clone a jesus the people I was working with at the time beleived it until I explained exactly what goes in to cloning and how it doesnt produce a clone of some one who doesnt exist hmm wonder if theres a reason I got fired from that job a short while later


well ra i know of a tour your aunt would enjoy its

http://www.creationtours.com/

I kinda want to go and just laough my way though there guided tour or be annoying and ask all kinds of questions although it would be fun with a bunch of us

Krystalline Apostate said...

udonman:
I remeber the whole clone a jesus the people I was working with at the time beleived it until I explained exactly what goes in to cloning and how it doesnt produce a clone of some one who doesnt exist hmm wonder if theres a reason I got fired from that job a short while later

Yeah, maybe you should sic the ACLU on them.
well ra i know of a tour your aunt would enjoy its
Well, she's never been OVERTLY religious. My entire family has this ridiculously hazy view of religion: my mom believes in heaven & all that crap, but she doesn't read the bible, or go to church, & since I live w/her, we NEVER discuss religion (she's very respectful, & I return the favor). My whole family is willing to discuss it to a small degree, but the prevalent attitude is the 'well, to each their own' & the societal discomfort of ridiculing religion at all.
Of course, I'm the family's 'black sheep' (always have been), & (now) a bit of a lunatic (that's my impression, could be wrong).
That creationtours thing sounds like a bit of the mischievous fun, though.

udonman said...

I'm the family's 'black sheep'


well then call me bah bah black sheep cause im the same would always argue relgion verse atheism and the such with my ants and uncles my cousins were equally divided as far as atheism vs theology is concerned just none of my cousins had the background to debate the subjects and as always I was the one trying new things and exploring my limits well I still am as every one should know by now

udonman said...

That creationtours thing sounds like a bit of the mischievous fun, though.
bwahhahaha the evil atheist conspiracy trying to deceive the true belivers i would have so much fun oh what fun

HairlessMonkeyDK said...

My words of wisdom are these:

Keeping an open mind is fine;
but not TOO open...
Your brain'll fall out.

Krystalline Apostate said...

HMDK:
Keeping an open mind is fine;
but not TOO open...
Your brain'll fall out.

Isn't that Dawkins?
How are you, my friend?

Krystalline Apostate said...

udonman:
as always I was the one trying new things and exploring my limits well I still am as every one should know by now
I think quite a few atheists fall under that heading.

HairlessMonkeyDK said...

Huhh?
Seriously?
About Dawkins, I mean?
Never heard that.
It, to me at least, came out of a discussion I had with a girl about four years ago.
She was sort of praising... *sigh*... (and sorry in advance for this dreary explanation)
she was praising boy-bands and ultra-lite-fluff-pop in general.
Her argument was:
So what if it isn't great art,
they're good at what they do.
My answer was:
Yeah, and what exactly -are-
wellfunctioning assholes known for producing? That's right: Shit.
Then I turned the argument on its head, hee... so to speak.

Krystalline Apostate said...

HMDK:
About Dawkins, I mean?
“Of course we must be open-minded, but not so open-minded that our brains drop out.”
Richard Dawkins. Yepper.
she was praising boy-bands and ultra-lite-fluff-pop in general.
Yikes!
Yeah, and what exactly -are-
wellfunctioning assholes known for producing? That's right: Shit.

Betcha didn't get any that day, ey? ;)

udonman:
bwahhahaha the evil atheist conspiracy trying to deceive the true belivers i would have so much fun oh what fun
Don't forget your tophat & black cloak. Oh, & a fake handlebar moustache, we must keep up appearances, hmmmm?

TheJollyNihilist said...

Answers.com, fer me. Closest thing I've found to an 'objective' source. I go to snopes when I hear bullshit. My aunt went on this stupid tour, & started telling everyone how an 'entire' bible survived the WTC collisions. Looked it up. Sure enuff, utter unmitigated crap. Next time, told her so. "But it was part of the tour!"
People are so bleedin' gullible.


Yes, they definitely are.

I knew the documentary "The God Who Wasn't There" was going to be great when Brian Flemming brought on the Snopes writers. Too bad they appeared so briefly.

They have an excellent debunking of the oft-repeated Amityville Horror fiction.

Krystalline Apostate said...

FTM:
I knew the documentary "The God Who Wasn't There" was going to be great when Brian Flemming brought on the Snopes writers.
Cool, I'll have to check that out. That, & the amityville thing. Thanks.

Anonymous said...

Cloning Christ. Boy, I'll bet that would piss his daddy off.
I wonder just how many different sets of DNA they'd find if the samples of "Christ's" blood were actually compared?

What to do? Clone 'em all and see which one can walk on water?

Ooh! Mass produce 'em and put one in every christian church in the world! Send the strongest one to the Vatican-he'll need muscle for turning over those money changers' tables.

An RC friend has a tiny bottle with a relic of "the cross" inside. I asked if she really believed it was part of the cross of Christ. "Well...," she said, slowly, "I believed it till I was about 12."

Thanks for the chuckle, ra.

karen

Vile Blasphemer said...

This is one of the funniest things I've read in a long time. I wonder if they got the idea from the Star Trek: TNG episode where a Klingon Christ-figure was cloned in an attempted religious coup of the government.

I love this kind of wacky stuff.

Krystalline Apostate said...

karen:
What to do? Clone 'em all and see which one can walk on water?
Hilariously enough, there was an actual movie titled 'Revelation', where the False prophet (some kind of immortal guy? That was never clarified) cloned jesus from some relics (the nails, no less!). Absolutely awful movie, & I had that opinion BEFORE I became an atheist.
Mass produce 'em and put one in every christian church in the world!
"For only 19.95, you too can have your very own Jesus! We'll even throw in a set of Ginsu knives, a 30$ value! Amaze your friends! Watch the stimata break out w/no warning!
(Jesuit Cloning Inc. not responsible for any damage from bleeding, spontaneous healing, or martyr complexes. Offer null where prohibited).
'New heights of terror from Romero! NIGHT OF THE LIVING JESUSES!'
I could go on for hours w/that riff, I tell ya.
Thanks for the chuckle, ra.
I always seek to please.

Krystalline Apostate said...

VB:
I love this kind of wacky stuff.
& xtians wonder why the appeal to ridicule comes so easily.
I'm going to institute a 'crackpot corner' pretty soon. Formosa's law notwithstanding, if they're on the 'Net, all's fair as the saying goes.
if they got the idea from the Star Trek: TNG episode where a Klingon Christ-figure was cloned in an attempted religious coup of the government.
Wasn't that Kayliss? I forget.
"may Kayliss honour your torpedo pilots with a drink today!"
I loved TNG. DS9, not so much. Loved Voyager. Enterprise actually got better w/time.
I love this kind of wacky stuff.
Yeah, it'd be hysterical, but for the fact that some actually BELIEVE this sort of thing.
Maybe Rhodes found out about it, & forgot to take the page down. It's approx. 5 yrs. old. I actually had a discussion w/him (about martial arts: he has this wiggo idea that internal MA is 'occultic' in orgin, read: the devil). He was pleasant, but that was before I became an atheist. His tone might change on that knowledge.

HairlessMonkeyDK said...

As for the commercial church,
let me share these quotes from an episode of "Blackadder".


"

Baldrick:
"There seem to be four major profit areas. Curses, pardons, relics, and selling the sexual favours of nuns."

Edmund:
"Selling the sexual favours of nuns...
you mean some people actually pay for them?"

Baldrick:
"Yeah, well, foreign businessmen, other nuns..."

---

Edmund:
"What is it?"

Percy:
"A bone from the finger of our Lord.
It cost me thirty-one
pieces of silver."

Edmund:
"Good Lord. Is it real?"

Percy:
"It is, my lord.
You stand amazed, Baldrick?"

Baldrick:
"I am.
I thought they only came in boxes of ten!".

udonman said...

DS9, not so much

oh come on man how could you not like ds9 hell otto was the coolest I mean how cool would it be to change your shape at will

Krystalline Apostate said...

HMDK:
I thought they only came in boxes of ten!".
I love the black adder. Hysterical. The most side-splittin' episode was when Adder was held by the Spanish Inquisition, & the torturer spoke no Ingles, & Adder spoke no Espanol, and they had to play charades to understand each other!

Krystalline Apostate said...

udonman:
oh come on man how could you not like ds9
It got better w/Worf on it, that's for sure. I just wasn't overfond of it, that's all. Maybe too much religiosity?

farmgirl said...

well thats what i thought youd like about it to me it was a great parralle to how the religions on earth operate with there interactions with each other well either that or like I said otto Im always trying to reinvent and find my self so otto was a perfect metaphor for me

udonman said...

as if its not obvious

PastaLaVista said...

“Of course we must be open-minded, but not so open-minded that our brains drop out.”
Richard Dawkins. Yepper.


This phrase or variations of it probably was used by Dawkins and others like Carl Sagan. Carl Sagan attributes it to James Oberg. From his book the demon haunted world:
"Keeping an open mind is a virture---but, as the space engineer James Oberg once said, not so open that your brains fall out."

Krystalline Apostate said...

PLV:
This phrase or variations of it probably was used by Dawkins and others like Carl Sagan.
Thnx for the correction.
Farmgirl:
well thats what i thought youd like about it to me it was a great parralle to how the religions on earth operate with there interactions with each other
I guess so. I couldn't tell you why I wasn't a big fan. Captain Sisko rocked, dug Worf (I always found the Klingons fascinating). The Jed-Haddar were pretty intriguing.
Lemmee think about it.

udonman said...

hey man im pissed I couldnt afford the gas for my car man and missed my last two tai chi classes damn i hat this economy

sorry rant over

did think any more about ds9 ive been thinking about voyager I just cant seem to figure out why they keeped that series going well at least it was the series with scott bacula that was horenduous beyond belief

Krystalline Apostate said...

udonman:
ive been thinking about voyager I just cant seem to figure out why they keeped that series going
I rather enjoyed voyager myself. It's when they brought Jerry Ryan...mmmWROWR, what a good-lookin' woman SHE is!...on, piqued me interest. A reformed Borg. What a concept.
it was the series with scott bacula that was horenduous beyond belief
Hey, I stopped watching Enterprise for the 1st 2 seasons, but when I got back to it, it'd improved quite a bit.
The last season was actually quite good. IMHO. Call me a heretic, then.

udonman said...

well yeah jerry ryan come on man I watched voyeur for her just had to turn off the volume the dialouge was horrific

HERETIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!