left biblioblography: I MISS THE LOVE OF YOU

Thursday, March 30, 2006

I MISS THE LOVE OF YOU


I miss the love of you,
The laugh of you, the length and width and depth of you
My chin resting on top of your hair, my arms around your tiny form
When we lay beside each other, the soft brush of your palm against my arm hair
Soft fingers cupping my face, your slim arm linked with mine as we walked
The tears of you, the laugh of you, the hula dance of you
That made us laugh together, weep together, make hot love together
Your tears on my shoulder, my tears upon yours
Your cinnamon skin against mine, my pink skin on yours
Your angel face asleep, as I watched, my hand feeling your breath

Longing for you still pricks my heart
But it becomes smaller with every year
Until
Tears become sighs, and wistful memory
Bereavement becomes autumn leaves
A suicide not of you took you from me
And so I dream of you, or chat on the phone with you
Remembrance of our happy days together

You needed a captain, one that I would not be
And so, you shipped out on a berth of dreamery delusions
As I waved from the shore, tears glistening in coming grief
And occasionally, your message in a bottle comes to me
Over the wires, and we talk, distant strangers with fond memories of one another
But I still wish, sometimes, that you sat in my lap again, or dance for me, or walk with me, or love with me
But I set you free, and you ran into the arms of your invisible hero, from your youth

Do not weep for me: I am almost content alone
For I have been alone most of my life, and I get along with me
But I will always miss the love of you
Always

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3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Ra
You are a beautiful,beautiful man.
Oh! To have words such as these thought, spoken, written!
How unselfish an act of letting go.
My heart aches that you bear this bereavement, yet sighs, because I know that you would not trade it for not ever having experienced this bliss.
Love is the unkindest cut...

Though you get along fine alone, there is much too much to you not to be shared with someone special; someone to be the ebb to your flow.

Love you.
karen

Krystalline Apostate said...

karen:
You are a beautiful,beautiful man.
Oy, yer makin' me blush, sweetie.
"'Tis better to have loved & lost, than to have never loved at all." I forget the source. Ole Bill?

Love ya back, darlin'.

Anonymous said...

It doesn't go with the tone of this post, but this has become a fav of mine lately: "It's better to have loved and lost than to have to put up with the jerk forever!" -Tshirt

k.