left biblioblography: EULOGY

Sunday, March 12, 2006

EULOGY


Well, my grandmother passed away yesterday. Age of 100. It wasn’t a surprise.

I anticipate and appreciate all condolences sent my way.

Truthfully, I barely knew the woman. We’d talked perhaps 3-4 times in the past thirty years. I heard a lot of stories, anecdotes, over the years. Amazing woman. It saddens me deeply that’s she’s gone. Saddens me that I didn’t make more of an effort to stay in touch.

We lost someone else couple of mos. ago, as well. It makes one ponder the issue of mortality.

I can understand why religious folk believe the way they do. Here you have someone who’s always been there, whether peripherally or otherwise, a constant in your life: you begin to take it for granted that that person will always be an anchor, a cameo in the play that is your life, or even a star on your personal stage.

And then: gone.

We are all of us as unique as a snowflake, and to think that one day we melt away in the warm rays of the sun is an unpleasant thought. The thought of the candle that is you running low, and guttering, and out and gone.

And there is that issue of saying goodbye. No one wants to say farewell forever. That hope in the heavy heart that someday, some way, eternity is in some way revocable. That small hole opened, perhaps to be filled in by life’s barrage, other people, other items, sometimes a wound, sometimes a void.

It’s a bitter pill to swallow, it is. Whether it’s a Southern minute, or a New York minute, life changes. Life ends. Life goes on.

My favorite author, Harlan Ellison (Shatterday), once stated: anything more than twelve minutes of personal pain is just wanton self-pity.

This has been my twelve minutes.

Thank you for listening.

Stumble Upon Toolbar

13 comments:

Mesoforte said...

Sorry for your loss RA.

Is it possible to become so desensitized to death that you just except it automatically? I know that in the past three years, I've stopped mourning and went on automatically.

Krystalline Apostate said...

MF:
Thank you.
Is it possible to become so desensitized to death that you just except it automatically?
I imagine so. I don't know how: but it's possible.
& we all handle grief differently.
This life of ours, how ephemeral it is.

udonman said...

ra sorrow about your loss my great grandma is 103 so i know before long i will be dealing with a similar loss it really could be any day for her or for anyone if you think about it just keep your head up and remeber the few times you had with her that is the only way any one could live for ever is the stories and memories you leave behind

HairlessMonkeyDK said...

"This life of ours, how ephemeral it is."

Yes. Which is why we must strive to make the most of it... not in the sense of hollow self-satisfied ambition,
but more: What am I capable of doing... what CAN I do to make things better for, if not -all-,
then at least for those I -am- able to assist.
Wether it be by vote, by donation or by simple words, even the lowliest of us has power unimagined.

Anonymous said...

My condolences RA.
Your grandmother lived a long life. I hope it was equally as satisfying to her.

Karen

Krystalline Apostate said...

udonman:
that is the only way any one could live for ever is the stories and memories you leave behind
Well, actually, I am, in some ways, a continuation of her.
Our children are our forms of immortality.
Thank you.

Krystalline Apostate said...

HMDK:
even the lowliest of us has power unimagined.
A lovely turn of phrase, from the aspiring Danish Bukowski, no less!
Well said, my friend, well said.
Thank you.

Krystalline Apostate said...

karen:
I hope it was equally as satisfying to her.
I'm fairly positive it was.
And thank you dear.

say no to christ said...

So sorry for your loss. The one thing that always makes me feel better about loosing someone is knowing that they will always live on in the natural cycles of life. I may not be able to burry my family memebers in the backyard(that I'm willing to admit to hehe ;p) when they die, but it is a comforting feeling when I have burried my pets in the yard to know that their life went back to the earth and will sustain other forms of life. So, in that way they will always live on. :)

Krystalline Apostate said...

SNTC:
Thanks much for your kind words.
when I have burried my pets in the yard to know that their life went back to the earth and will sustain other forms of life.
This sounds so much like a Parsee perspective. Which isn't a bad thing: not at all.
I find it fascinating, for instance, that every drop of water since the beginning of our planet still exists, in 1 form or another.
Perhaps bits & pieces of ourselves come from other bits & pieces from those who came before us.

udonman said...

ah Reluctant I forgot about the genitic link between us all your are after all a continuation of the amily tree

udonman said...

sorry i meant family tree

Krystalline Apostate said...

udonman:
sorry i meant family tree
'Salright.
We're all related. From 1 source.
Doesn't take religion to figure that one out.