The Republican Party: How Do I Loathe Thee? Let Me Count The Ways…

Cross posted @ the Atheist Oasis

Normally, in terms of ideology, I struggle to adopt a similar credo along the lines of “hate the idea, love the ideologue” (yeah, yeah, it smacks of “hate the sin, love the sinner”: so what, get over it) – and the Republican Party has been a particular target, for good reason.

And I can claim the dubious honor of being able to discover if there are any Republicans in earshot, without pointedly asking “Are you a Republican?” Simply announce “The Republican Party should be abolished!” or “That party has f___-ed up this country beyond belief” or something similar, and anyone simple enough to belong to that pusillanimous party of poltroons will pipe up with one of two statements:

1. “You can’t say that!” (have ‘em call the cops then), or
2. “Hey, the Democrats aren’t much better!”

The chances are better with response number 2, because it’s a common favorite of theirs, a tactic known as a red herring, something we’ve all seen them do at the drop of a hat.

Anyways, we have two headings here: the first is the number of personages that have taught us to loathe this party, and the second is the number of mind-numbing contradictions/hypocrisies they seem to swim in obliviously.

Talking Heads for the GOP                    Why they suck

Michelle Bachmann

Where to start? The roots of her constituency are laden in right-wing fuckagelicals  - she speaks in code to them, for cripes sake, and when she’s NOT speaking in code to these idiots, she gibbers like a fucking monkey (only a monkey would make more sense, because there would be some effort involved.).

Rush Limbaugh

I tend to call this guy “Rush Himbo”, because he’ll spread his legs for just about any rethuglickin’ politician around. The same guy who stated that “all addicts should be locked up, and throw away the key” happened to have a monkey on his back too, which changed his tune. Oh, and wishing that Obama would fail – nice, patriotic statement, that. He’d have excoriated anyone who said that about Dubya: believe it.  And criticizing Michelle about her weight and belts? Are you joking? No, just an idiot who makes too much money.

George W.

This assclown deserves an entire post dedicated to his rampant idiocies, from stem cell research to sticking up for creationists to…I get exhausted just thinking about how this guy raped our country. This spaz was a worse president than Woodrow Wilson could’ve aspired to…and that’s pretty bad. I’m surprised my ears don’t bleed when he’s mentioned.

Glen Beck.

That this schlub makes 32 million a year sets my teeth on edge. This yobbo is the definitive fast-food of politics – the idiot ideologue who panders to the attention-deficit masses. It’s not bad enough he’s a Mormon, his ‘influences’ are a grab-bag of the worst possible fringe theories on record. I’ve met homeless derelicts in the streets who gibber less (and make more sense) than this guy.

Ann Coulter

This woman is definitely yin to Beck’s yang. Every time I hear something from or about her, my eyes bulge and my jaw hits the floor.  This is someone who whines about being misquoted as mischaracterization,  and yet says some of the most spiteful, twisted,  stupid and anti-Semitic commentary ever heard.

Chris Buttars

I banged on Butterball back in the day at GifS – he’s a homophobe and an ID idiot.

Tom Delay

This guy is a perfect example of ‘do as I say, not as I do’ – he’s done it all (well, almost), from money laundering to accepting bribes to despotism to stupid statements about evolution. In fact, he’d done everything wrong a republican can do except have an affair with another man.

Newt Gingrich

I like to call this guy “Newt Gangrene” – sure it’s middle school to do so, but like all the others I’ve listed, he’s simply a rotten excuse for…anything, really. He spear-headed the government shutdown in the mid-90’s, he’s a philandering Catholic  (yeah, no contradiction there), and the idiocies that pour out of his mouth are an inadequate substitute for reality.

Sarah Palin

What list of Reich-wing jackasses would be complete without the Palin-into-insignificance? I’ve said it before – most guys degenerate into slobbering idiocy at the sight of eye candy, and pay no heed to the nonsense that comes sliding out of their mouths. She endorses the Tea-baggers (like the rest of these monkeys), her stances on health care, social issues, and the environment are beyond risible, and (IMO) would be better off taking knitting as opposed to politics, because she ain’t shit at the latter.

Ronald Regan.

Sure, he’s not about to defend himself anymore, but this grandfatherly old fuck wrecked this country, and set the standards of silliness for all the people I’ve thus far mentioned.  His religious craziness was an infectious meme that’s polluted the waters far too long. Harlan Ellison once stated that Regan would’ve been a better president if he A. put a firecracker between his teeth, B. lit it, and C. stuck his head up his ass.

Rupert Murdoch.

Here’s another fuck who made all of today’s crazies mainstream. Fox News. Need I say more? This mook has turned the political landscape of America into another (metaphorical) Chernobyl disaster.

There are, no doubt, a number of names you’d like to add to this list – but brevity forbids it.

No doubt some pandering accomodationist will mewl about how the Democrats  aren’t any better (what about other parties? What other parties?), but the hypocrisy runs high with the conservatives. Remember – this is the truly religious party (and yet most prominent of them can’t seem to stay married to one woman, and the others chase young MALE pages or hit on strangers in bathrooms) that believes in the ‘sanctity of marriage’, the party that believes in ‘limited government’ (which obviously doesn’t apply to bedroom practices or women’s rights)…the hypocrisy is staggering.  What’s even more so, is that their ‘enlightened’ constituency never seems to catch onto to these raging out-of-control bozos. And why? Because religion (Christianity in particular) encourages the sheeple to turn a blind eye to these rampant examples of moral turpitude.

So on one hand we have the representatives of this particular mindset, and it falls inches from resembling true bedlam. On the other hand, we have a long list of woes they wish to afflict on us via legislation – and with that long a list of religious folk, you can bet every possible theory of how they can inflict their ideological idiocy on us will not only be voiced, but everything short of the more horrific will be actually considered.

Masticate on that, and get back to me.

Till the next post, then.