THE EXORCISM OF EMILY ROSE – A STUDY IN SPIRITUAL DARWINISM

Well, I figured, shrugging: why the hell not?

So I rented this bloody thing.

Now there was once upon a time it would’ve raised goose bumps on my nape, or made me question myself, and my spiritual strength.

Of course, now I’m an atheist, so my perspective has changed considerably.

Now the production values were fairly decent. The acting was, eh. There were some clever moments, and I actually jumped a couple of times.

Now for the bad bits.

First off, we’re seeing a resurgence of this dreck. And who are the constant soldiers that battle back the encroaching tendrils of evil? Yep, you guessed it. Catholic priests. How come we never see a Protestant, Methodist, or Episcopalian exorcist? That’s right: Mother Church to the rescue.

So we have this poor little farm girl, the minute she goes to a university (this is repeated 3 times in the 1st ½ hour, no less), spiritual problems arise.

She gets a scholarship, but we see her running about in the pouring rain in a dowdy farm dress, no umbrella. How smart is she? Why is she so special? She and her family are especially devout, and that’s about all one can garner.

We are then treated to a trial that’s ridiculous from both the perspective of prosecution AND the defense. The prosecutors use poor medical diagnoses, and are generally painted to be the blind, rational antagonists. “Psychotic epilepsy,” indeed. Schizophrenia and psychosis are used interchangeably (hey, who’s gonna notice?). Meanwhile, we get these flashbacks where Emily eats bugs, tears up the drywall, and shrieks in a variety of languages (which of course, the priest speaks ALL of them, what a surprise!). Credit due, though: the producers of the movie didn’t go for any wild CGI, pea green soup, or bizarre contortions, instead they shot for the psychological, more surreal efforts at fright. Succeeding only occasionally.

At one point, we discover that there are 6 demons inhabiting this spectacularly unimpressive young girl, one of them calling itself Legion (which is contradictory, in context), another Belial, and 1 more: the big Kahuna hisself, Lucifer.

At yet another juncture, we learn that the girl is visited by Mary herself, and is given the option of

1. Leaving now, or


2. Stick around for the suffering, so others may learn that God does indeed exist.

3 guesses as to which choice she makes? Yep. You got it. Option B. Immediately, she bursts into stigmata.

So, recap time: farm girl hits university on scholarship, is immediately beset by evil spirits, brought back to farm, priest unsuccessfully tries to get rid of spirit, fails, goes on trial simply to tell the world, “GOD AIN’T DEAD” (gotta love this horse puckey: during trial, priest reads written note, which tells of Mary’s visit, acceptance of sacrifice, and the punchline? “How can anyone say, ‘God is Dead’, if I show them the Devil?”), agnostic defense attorney becomes a believer (finds unknown locket outside apartment complex w/her initials on it, hey, it’s a MIRACLE!), movie closes with captions that tell about people from around the world coming to visit her grave as a shrine.

And there’s just so much wrong with all of this. God selecting people to suffer, to prove he still exists? Demonic possession, of all things? Hey, if God abolished world hunger, or war, hey, I think that’d be more the clincher for me. This blood sacrifice bullshit gets right up my nose, it does.

“Let’s see, people don’t believe in me anymore. I’ll infect some poor innocent young girl with demons, let her suffer, let her die, so her little note can be read at a public trial, to re-ignite the dimming candle of faith guttering in the world.”

It’s goddam savagery, is what it is. I’d think there’d be an easier way to go about proving I was the supreme deity, besides the suffering of innocents.

What’s worse is there are people who buy into this fatuous nonsense.

Sucker born every minute.

That’s my nickel’s worth.