left biblioblography

Sunday, April 08, 2012

Bunnies And Zombies? Can Religious Belief Get Any More Surreal?

Cross posted at the Atheist OasisZombie_Jesus_need_brains

Sweet Zombie Jesus! –Prof. Farnsworth from Futurama

Yes, it’s that time of year again, when zombies and rabbits combine to make thanatophobia more palatable to the unwashed masses.

And yes, Jesus was, by the strictest definition of the word, a zombie.

That is to say, that a zombie is:

(Haitian Creole: zonbi; North Mbundu: nzumbe)  an animated corpse brought back to life by mystical means, such as witchcraft. The term is often figuratively applied to describe a hypnotized person bereft of consciousness and self-awareness, yet ambulant and able to respond to surrounding stimuli. Since the late 19th century, zombies have acquired notable popularity, especially in North American and European folklore.

The brain-eating nonsense came later. The question to that, is: why on earth would they eat anything? Bodily fluids have ceased to flow – by what logic would these shambling monstrosities even be hungry? No reason, it just makes a better story.

An  amusing aside (apropos of very little but the topic itself), I recall many years ago reading about Solomon Kane, a Robert E. Howard character, who battled hordes of zombies, until his African shaman friend N’Longa summoned vultures to save him.

Which begs the next question: why aren’t birds, or other carrion feeders swarming over these things? Or insect life?

But I digress.

And the unanswerable question (unanswered because it cannot possibly make any sense), is how an immortal being can sacrifice himself to himself to correct the flaw built into the alleged creation?

Ridiculous is the word for it. And I’m being kind.

Anyways, I’ll leave you all with a clip of one of my all-time favorite comics, Sam Kinison, who talks about how crazy it might have been.

 

Enjoy your bunny day, and make sure to take advantage of all the post-Easter chocolate sales.

Till the next post, then.

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Wednesday, April 04, 2012

Wednesday Twofer–Arrested Development

I had actually forgotten all about this show, until I stumbled across it on Netflix. Definitely one of the funniest ever.

This first clip is a compilation of how the Bluth family can’t seem to imitate a chicken sound while calling someone a chicken (that is to say, ANY of them):

While the television market is almost saturated with the dysfunctional family sitcom, these fictional folks take the cake. Next clip illustrates how lame the Bluth’s echo chamber is:

Enjoy.

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Sunday, April 01, 2012

Numbers Do Not An Argument Make: Homophobia In The 21st Century.

Cross posted  @ the Atheist Oasishomophobic logic

If a million people say a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing. – Anatole France

(Hat tip to Godlessliberals.com for this one)

Crazy Christians are consistent, if not logical. They lead with their indignation and their imagined righteousness. And when people shrug off their ridiculous rage, they immediately go to bully mode. Case in point:

Ellen DeGeneres responds to group opposing her new JC Penney job

Ellen DeGeneres publicly responded to One Million Moms, the self-described “conservative, pro-family” group who opposes her new role as JC Penney spokeswoman, on the day that California’s ban on same-sex marriage, Proposition 8, was ruled unconstitutional.

On an episode of “The Ellen DeGeneres Show,” taped Tuesday and airing Wednesday, the host said, “Normally I try not to pay attention to my haters, but this time I’d like to talk about it ’cause my haters are motivators.”

“This organization doesn’t think that I should be the spokesperson because I’m gay. For those of you are just tuning in for the first time, it’s true. I’m gay. I hope you were sitting down,” DeGeneres joked.

In a statement on its Web site, One Million Moms, who have previously objected to Chaz Bono’s inclusion on “DWTS” and Ben & Jerry’s Schweddy Balls ice cream, said, “By jumping on the pro-gay bandwagon, JC Penney is attempting to gain a new target market and in the process will lose customers with traditional values that have been faithful to them over all these years.”

DeGeneres responded, “Being gay or pro-gay isn’t a bandwagon. You don’t get a free ride anywhere. There’s no music. ... Occasionally we’ll sing ‘We Are Family,’ but that’s about it.”

As the comedienne pointed out, she had received an outpouring of support in the comments section on the One Million Moms’s Facebook page. DeGeneres was also defended by JC Penney, wh4ch said in a statement they “stand behind [the] partnership,” and by Fox News’s Bill O’Reilly, who called the boycott “a witch hunt.”

Holy shit – when Bill O’Reilly is the voice of reason, you know the other side should be titled ‘a million maniacs’.

What sets my nape hairs on end, is that there are actually only 40,000 of these ‘million’ nutters (as Ellen points out in her succinct and classy video) – and while she is more forgiving than is necessary, the non-surprise is that these busybody old biddies tacked on an extra 60,000 (give or take) in numbers, boils down to an odious, outright LIE. And that they use some millennial  magical merde to back up their alleged ‘traditional values’ (yeah, right, like lying is a ‘traditional value’ – oh wait, if you’re religious, it is).

This sort of thing gets right up my nose. While this dates back to February, it’s still fresh enough to dive-bomb their discriminatory Facebook page, and let them know just how the atheist segment feels about it.

Because obviously they prayed real hard, and nothing happened. So they likely went and started a tempest in a teapot. Chances are strong they’ll begin to whinge on about how they’re the persecuted people, if track records are any indication.

So go give them a holler, and give ‘em a little hell (pun intended). They don’t deserve any courtesy, for their homophobic ways.

Here’s the video response as per the article:

video platformvideo managementvideo solutionsvideo player

Till the next post, then.

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Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Wednesday Twofer: Jeffrey And God

Comedy for atheists: Jeffrey the angel discusses serious issues with the ‘big guy’:

In this segment, Jeffrey points out the ludicrousness of logistics with the ‘big guy’:

Enjoy.

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Sunday, March 25, 2012

The Madness Of Muslim: Guns A-Blazing, Another Maniac Mohammed

Cross posted @ the Atheist OasisMyth of Violent Islam_gif

The body count keeps mounting, despite what all the Islamic apologists say:

Jewish school slayings suspect dead after France cops storm apartment, officials say

Updated at 10:58 a.m. ET: TOULOUSE, France -- An Islamist extremist who is believed to have killed seven people in France died Thursday after a shootout with police, officials said.

Interior Minister Claude Gueant said that Mohamed Merah, a 23-year-old French citizen of Algerian origin who had allegedly confessed to killing three Jewish children and four adults, was hiding in a bathroom when special forces officers raided his ground-floor apartment.

Merah leapt out a window with a weapon in his hand after "shooting madly" at police who were attempting to end the 32-hour standoff, Gueant added.

The Paris prosecutor in charge of investigation told NBC News police found the video camera he used to film all three attacks and described the footage they found as "very graphic."

Merah was found dead outside his home, Gueant said. Police union sources also confirmed Merah's death, with local prosecutors also saying he had been shot in the head.

Gueant said that two officers were injured during the operation.

Merah told negotiators he killed three soldiers, three Jewish children and a rabbi to avenge the deaths of Palestinian children and because of French army involvement in Afghanistan.

Authorities said Merah, who claimed to have received training from al-Qaida, was believed to have a weapons cache in the apartment including an Uzi and a Kalashnikov assault rifle.

I find this sort of thing frightening, inasmuch as it occurs all too frequently over the last decade. There has been a constant barrage of bad press – and it’s far too easy to say, “Oh, but the press only shows the bad shit”, because it’s reached a saturation point where only the most deluded of delusionists would mouth the empty platitude that “it’s only a few crazies making the religion look bad”. Especially since the religion is mostly composed of crazies (as most of them are).

Another ominous foreshadowing, is the Wiki entry on this lunatic:

He was known to French authorities because he had traveled to Afghanistan and Pakistan. He was unemployed at the time of the shootings, after having worked as a coachbuilder. Merah had a long record as a juvenile delinquent with 15 convictions, according to a regional French prosecutor. First arrested in 2005, he served two short prison terms in 2007 and 2009. His convictions reportedly included thefts and driving offences.

The major inference here, is that he couldn’t really afford an Uzi and a Kalashnikov, let alone the bullets. There will be no doubt that there will be a great deal of analysis (how many hours is anyone’s guess, but it’ll be too much) as to the whys and wherefores and how-comes – it’ll likely be attributed to terrorists, oh, them poor Muslims getting blamed for a lone nut, etc, etc, et al.

The underlying problem is that there are too many savages in all our societies, Western or otherwise, and religion is just another excuse, another umbrella for the wackjobs to hide under. Until the numbers get too huge to ignore.

Till the next post, then.

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Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Wednesday Twofer–Modern Family

Much in the vein of The Office TV series, Modern Family is actually funnier, and incredibly well written and well acted.

The following is Sophie Vergara as the consistently funny (and tremendously gorgeous) ‘child-bride’ of Jay, the patriarch of the family, and her hysterical mispronunciations:

And in the next clip, Jay’s gay son Mitchell and his boyfriend reveal that they’ve adopted a baby:

Enjoy.

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Sunday, March 18, 2012

Allegories Gone Wild: The Ugandan Warlord

Cross posted @ the Atheist Oasis
konyinfantryNo doubt many of you are familiar with the Kony 2012 campaign on Youtube. Joseph Kony is a Ugandan warlord who is guilty of horrendous crimes against humanity. Likelihood is good that the source of this campaign (who was scarring his own child teaching him about Kony) is somewhat out of his mind. Uganda is understandably upset about this bad press, and has released a counter-video claiming that Kony is no longer in the country, and that they are making every effort to apprehend this monster.

Regardless of the political upheaval, the background noise of finger-pointing, and any of the other obligatory nonsenses, the fact remains: Kony is a crazy-ass fairy beggar armed with a machete that he’s willing to use freely.

One of the more irritating subterfuges (as I see it), is how everyone seems to be downplaying his religious inclinations. From the Wiki link:

Joseph Kony (pronounced IPA: [koɲ]; born c. 1961) is the head of the Lord's Resistance Army (LRA), a Ugandan guerrilla group. While initially enjoying strong public support, the LRA turned on its own supporters, supposedly to "purify" the Acholi people and turn Uganda into a theocracy. Kony proclaims himself the spokesperson of God and a spirit medium, primarily of the Holy Spirit, which the group believes can represent itself in many manifestations. Ideologically, the group is a syncretic mix of of mysticism, Acholi nationalism, and Christian fundamentalism, and claims to be establishing a theocratic state based on the Ten Commandments and local Acholi tradition.

A nutshell version of this as follows: he’s batshit crazy.

How did the madness develop? Like most nutcases, he started early:

Kony was born in 1961 in Odek, a village east of Gulu in northern Uganda, to father Luizi Obol and mother Nora, both farmers. He is a member of the Acholi people. Kony enjoyed a good relationship with his siblings, but was quick to retaliate in a dispute and when confronted he would often resort to physical violence. His father was a lay catechist of the Catholic Church and his mother was an Anglican. Kony was an altar boy for several years but stopped attending church around the age of 15 and also dropped out of school.

As a teenager, Kony was apprenticed as the village witch doctor under Jamie Brow, his older brother, and when Jamie died, Kony took over the position.

So superstition and crazy ran in the family? No surprise there. Let’s skip to the meat of the entry:

Kony's group was originally called the United Holy Salvation Army (UHSA), and was not perceived as a threat by the NRA. By 1988 it had become a major player in Ugandan affairs: an agreement between the NRA and the Uganda People's Democratic Army (UPDA) left members of the UPDA unsatisfied, and many joined the UHSA as a form of rebellion. One such person was Commander Odong Latek, who convinced Kony to use standard military tactics instead of attacking in cross-shaped formations and sprinkling holy water. The new tactics proved successful, and the UHSA completed several small victories against the NRA.

WOW. He was so religious, he attacked in cross-shaped formations? Misted people with ineffectual water? The crazy is strong with this one.

The NRA responded by significantly weakening Kony's group through political actions and a military campaign named Operation North. The operation was devastating to the UHSA and, with their numbers reduced from thousands to hundreds, they engaged in retaliatory attacks on civilians and NRA collaborators. The LRA say that spirits were sent to communicate this mission directly to Kony.

Since there’s no such thing as ‘spirits’, it was the voices in his head.

The bulk of Kony's foot soldiers were children. While estimates of the number of children conscripted since 1986 vary, some put the figure as high as 104,000. When abducting the children, Kony and his army often killed their family and neighbors, thus leaving the children with little choice but to fight for him. In 1992 Kony renamed the group the United Democratic Christian Army, and it was at this time that they kidnapped 139 girls from the Sacred Heart Secondary and St. Mary's girls schools.

It is strange, is it not, that for an allegedly peaceful religion, bloodthirsty ogres seem to surge forth from it on a consistent basis?

Let’s plumb the depths of this crazy a little more:

Betty Bigombe remembered that the first time she met Kony, his followers used oil to ward off bullets and evil spirits. In a letter regarding future talks, Kony stated that he must consult his self-styled holy spirit. When the talks did occur, they insisted on the participation of religious leaders and opened the proceedings with prayers, led by LRA's Director of Religious Affairs Jenaro Bongomi. During the 1994 peace talks, Kony was preceded by men in robes sprinkling holy water.

Kony was thought among followers and detractors alike to have been possessed by spirits; he has been portrayed as either the Messiah or the Devil. He reportedly made annual trips to the Ato Hills in Uganda. He would allegedly ascend to the highest of the hills and lie down in the hot sun for days. He would be covered by a blanket of red termites that bit deeply into his skin. Oil from the Yao plant was spread over his body. Then he would enter a cave and stay in seclusion for weeks. Kony believes in the literal protection provided by a cross symbol and tells his child soldiers a cross on their chest drawn in oil will protect them from bullets.

Kony believes in polygamy, and as of 2007 he was thought to have 88 wives, along with 42 children.

Kony insists that he and the Lord's Resistance Army are fighting for the Ten Commandments. He defends his actions: "Is it bad? It is not against human rights. And that commandment was not given by Joseph. It was not given by LRA. No, those commandments were given by God."

The mind boggles. Centuries ago this behavior would be considered holy. Now, it is symptomatic of severe mental illness. I would say that insane is too kind a word.

Did religion cause this profound disconnect with reality? Hard to say. Obviously his environment had a severe impact on his psyche. To the point somewhere along the line he thought he was justified in lopping the limbs off people, and stealing their children.

Every day, the evidence against keeping religion just gets another story deeper. Expanding on that metaphor, there should be enough skyscrapers to blot out the sun.

Till the next post, then.

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