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Saturday, July 04, 2009

Allegories Gone Wild – TEOTWAWKI And The Informercial

Cross posted @ God Is For Suckers!TEOTWAWKI_____Doomsday___by_Hideyoshi


It's the end of the world as we know it.
It's the end of the world as we know it.
It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine. – R.E.M, It’s The End Of The World

I came home this morning, and found a pamphlet tucked into my doorsill, and that pamphlet was from the Jehovah’s Witless, trumpeting about the End Of The World. It’s not enough that these anachronisms fantasize about the EOTW, but they feel bound and obliged to share it with the rest of us.

That little nugget comes from Ezekiel 3:18-19
18 If I say to the wicked person: (A) You will surely die, but you do not warn him—you don't speak out to warn him about his wicked way in order to save his life—that wicked person will die for his iniquity. Yet I will hold you responsible for his blood. 19 But if you warn a wicked person and he does not turn from his wickedness or his wicked way, he will die for his iniquity, but you will have saved your life.

Thanks, Zeke. You helped make life a little more difficult, as if it wasn’t enough already. The bible – enabling crazy and delusional people since the 10th century BCE.

So today’s rant pretty much targets another End-Day-er, and sure enough, if you read the sentences, and then close your eyes, you can actually see in your mind’s eye, an infomercial.

Christians: “Finally Understand Bible Prophecy (Including What Event To Expect Next) Thanks To A Prophetic Timeline Breakthrough Based On Two Overlooked Keys in the Words of Jesus

So, does anyone here wonder why I have a problem with allegory? Some clown finds two or three alternate wordings in a ‘sacred text’, and voila! Time to restructure the epistemology!

New Update!
Iran In Prophecy

My latest research shows where Iran's devastation is in Bible prophecy. Ahmadinejad's plan to wipe Israel off the map with nuclear weapons will backfire and cause his own people to flee Iran. It's the next prophecy to be fulfilled and will affect everyone who depends on the flow of Middle East / Strait of Hormuz oil.

Quick! Notify the Pentagon! This stuff is gold! Let me guess….somewhere in 2012, right? So – somewhere in the bibble, it says the missiles will turn back on the launchers, right?

Congratulations, you're about to discover surprising Bible secrets that few have the chance to hear. My name is Tim McHyde (like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. And yes, in case you're wondering, I did get teased a lot for my name when I was a kid :-) For over 20 years now, I have had an absolute passion for understanding the mysteries of the Bible, especially what Bible prophecy reveals will really happen in the future.

Because hobbies in the real world don’t enable your delusions, no doubt.

As a result of that curiosity and persistence, I've made unbelievable progress in turning the Book of Revelation from a frustrating codebook into a understandable playbook that anyone, including you, can readily understand and use to your benefit in the troubled times ahead. Given the nature of the challenges that are coming, this information can literally save your life.

The problems here are manifold: A. McHyde presupposes a deity, B. presupposes the wholly bibble is accurate, and C. presupposes that the book in question isn’t topical (which internal markers actually show that it is).

First, judging from all the emails I have received to my Bible prophecy websites since 2000...

More people with no hobbies?

Guess What Hard Question People Want To Know Most From Me These Days?

I'll give you a clue. It directly relates to this string of tragedies that have recently happened:

  1. 9-11 World Trade Center Attack
  2. The Earthquake and Tsunami at Sumatra
  3. Hurricane Katrina's castastrophic flooding of the city of New Orleans and the Gulf Coast states
  4. ...and also to these doomsday scenarios in the news (some of which only receive coverage on the Internet):
  5. Global warming and other drastic climate change
  6. Iran's nuclear bomb and Islamic apocalypse aspirations (which can also create oil crises) bringing war to the Middle East
  7. Terrorist dirty nukes on American soil (in response to an Iran invasion)
  8. Hubbard's peak oil crisis
  9. Potential impacts from near earth objects (comets, asteroids, meteors)
  10. China invading Taiwan (who America is avowed to defend)
  11. Conflict with North Korea over her nuclear missiles capable of striking California
  12. World War III
  13. Avian flu virus pandemic
  14. Overpopulation
  15. More killer hurricanes
  16. The Next 9-11 Attack
  17. More killer earthquakes (California is considered overdue for a Big One)

Can you guess now?

Ah, hello? Number 12 hasn’t happened yet?

The question I'm asked most is driven by a growing suspicion that our best days may already be behind us and a day is coming to mark "the end of the world as we know it" (TEOTWAWKI). This is the dreaded day when the good times of prosperity, freedom, stability and security that we enjoy and downright expect today are over. This generation has never seen a Great Depression, Holocaust or World War but realizes evil and danger have multiplied in the world since those days making it unreasonable to expect that history will not repeat itself.

This has been an ongoing non-discussion for the past 2000 years. Arguably, the ‘world as we know it’ ends on a regular basis because the ‘status quo’ is constantly in flux.

So, the question everyone seems to want to know from me is if Bible prophecy tell us what really will cause the world to unravel and more importantly, when will this happen and what do we do about it?

Simple answer(s): no, no such thing as ‘prophecy’, so not gonna happen.

The answer is "yes" the Bible tells us what will happen and enough clues to know when to expect it and, thankfully, also how to "escape all these things" as Jesus himself put it.

There are better hobbies to be had than sitting around playing witless guessing games.

Now, I'll admit it right here: this concept of TEOTWAWKI coming can be a major downer that nobody would want to believe or think about. It makes you feel hopeless to hear that the world will only get worse. If you naturally believe that there is nothing you can do about it, of course you'd rather just immediately put it out of your mind, ignore it, or go watch TV or play a video game to help you feel good about life again.

Thanks, Dr. Phil.

But there is hope and a better approach than just ignoring the signs of the times and the handwriting on the wall, so to speak.

Does this cat know that the book of Daniel is pretty much a joke?

The Solution: Follow God's Survival Plan For You

Well, as you know... Even though many people have a computer, few have the knowledge and training they need in order to harness its full potential to make life easier.

That exact same principle holds true about your understanding of Bible prophecy.

Uh, no, it’s firmly established that biblical prophecy is codswallop. Also, the analogy is so brittle it collapses, as one cannot compare a 20th century technological tool to a set of anachronistic musty old rules put together by a fiercely nomadic and insular society from the Iron Age.

Just as it takes advanced knowledge to get the most from your computer, understanding any part of the Bible takes more than just knowing how to read. There's actually a prophetic roadmap found in the Bible that must be understood first in order to properly interpret the Biblical prophecies, and eventually unlock their full meaning so you can anticipate future events just as God intended.

Exempting of course, lottery numbers, horse races, actual economic forecasts, and anything vaguely resembling reality.

Unfortunately, most people (including you) probably aren't even aware of this "prophetic roadmap" much less the fact that you can actually use it to improve your life!

Much of it goes on in this vein – including (I kid you not) a money back guarantee!

But somehow, this will be exempted from consideration as fraud, because it’s religious.

Or, as David Hannum put it, “There’s a sucker born every minute.”

A joyful Fourth to you and yours. This is the Apostate, signing off.

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Wednesday, July 01, 2009

From Beyond – Avoid At All Costs! A Movie Review

I’ve been casting about for a decent movie based on H. P. Lovecraft’s stories, and well, it’s been slim pickings.

So I watched From Beyond yesterday, and most of my reactions were “Oh, you’re kidding me!” and wild laughter. The crew at MST3K would’ve had a field day with this thing.

After inventing a way for creatures from the fourth dimension to come into his own world, Dr. Edward Pretorious (Ted Sorel) suffers a gruesome decapitation at the hands of those he brought "from beyond." But authorities suspect his assistant (Jeffrey Combs) is to blame. Barbara Crampton co-stars as a beautiful psychiatrist brought in to help police solve the case in this classic 1980s thriller based on a short story by H.P. Lovecraft.

Yeah, when I read that blurb, I thought, “I…dunno.” Not a big fan of what I term ‘over-modernization’ (you know what I mean – they bring the characters up to date with the current time, including cutesy little commentary, all that idiocy).

Half an hour into the film, it began spiraling out control. Whoever re-fitted this movie was obviously on a steady diet of cocaine and late night horror movies. Absolutely hysterical insertions include:

  1. A monster design that obviously was rejected from the ‘Lost In Space’ movie debacle
  2. The lady psychiatrist dressing up as a dominatrix while under  the influence of the Resonator
  3. Crawford Tillingford actually (seriously!) developing a taste for human brains (a moment of high hilarity ensues when he attacks the bitchy doctor in the hospital: he pushes her up against the wall, begins sucking on her face, turns, spits out an eyeball, and begins to slurp out her gray matter).
  4. Crawford gets eaten by his former mentor, but manages to battle his way out of the digestive tract to save the damsel in distress

Utter and thorough dreck. Good for a few laughs, though, if you like awful movies.

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Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Fans Of Michael Jackson Are More Likely To Commit Suicide Than Atheists, Apparently…

The First Suicide of Michael Jackson Fan happens in Tunisia

A young Tunisian girl from El Manar in the North of the country took her life in desperation following the death of her idol Michael Jackson

The First Suicide of Michael Jackson Fan happens in Tunisia
A young Tunisian girl from El Manar in the North of the country took her life in desperation following the death of her idol Michael Jackson. She spent the day in her bedroom watching Jackson videos and later swallowed a large amount of tablets. Jackson gave his first ever African concert in Tunisia in 1996 in front of 65,000 fans.
Meanwhile in Russia reports have emerged of a Jackson double, Pável Talaláyev who attempted suicide following the news of his idols death. Despite the fine efforts of the emergency services to save him he declared,
‘This is not just a loss, it’s the worst tragedy of my life and I do not want to live any more. I don’t know why they had to save me. I want to be with him’

Yeah, chances are pretty strong that he’d not be anywhere if he’d been left unrevived.

Really, this is just another illustration of how belief in an afterlife is poison.

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Monday, June 29, 2009

Signs That Star Trek Is Firmly Embedded In Our Culture

This is a pretty funny story:

COLORADO SPRINGS, Colo. -- A surveillance picture released by police Wednesday afternoon shows a man armed with what appears to be a small Klingon sword, holding up a 7-Eleven convenience store.

That same man robbed another 7-Eleven store store a half-hour later, and remains at large, Colorado Springs police Lt. David Whitlock said.

The first robbery was reported at 1:50 a.m., at 145 N Spruce St. The clerk told police a white man in his 20s, wearing a black mask, black jacket, and blue jeans, entered the store with a weapon the clerk recognized from the Star Trek TV series.

The robber demanded money and left with an undisclosed amount.

A half hour later, police received a call from a 7-Eleven at 2407 N. Union Blvd., where a man matching the previous description entered the store with a similar weapon. He also demanded money from the store clerk. The clerk refused and the robber "transported" himself out of the store on foot.

Both clerks described the weapon as a Star Trek Klingon-type sword, called a "bat'leth."

Neither clerk was injured in the robberies.

The Startrek.com Web site describes the Klingon weapon as crescent-shaped and about a yard long. However, the weapon that the man was wielding appears to be smaller than that. The bat'leth has points on both ends, two points in between and a handle on the outside.

Police said they don't know if the sword used by the robber was made of metal.

Pretty hilarious. I’d have liked to see if he was any good with the damn thing, but that’s just me.

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Saturday, June 27, 2009

Allegories Gone Wild – Fatima And The Sundog

Cross posted @ God Is 4 Suckers!

fatima3shephards

Strangenesses abound in our world – enough so, that our ancestors mistook the sound of wind in the trees for the wailings of lost souls, and rains of frogs as some sort of sign from on high.

In the category of oddness, however, the Catholics sometimes hit the ball right out of the park.

In this instance, I have been looking at the weird little case of the Three Secrets of Fatima. Some of the facts are baffling.

The Three Secrets of Fátima consist of a series of visions and prophecies claimed to be given by an apparition of the Blessed Virgin Mary to three young Portuguese shepherds, Lúcia Santos and her cousins Jacinta and Francisco Marto, on July 13, 1917. The three children claimed to have been visited by a Marian apparition six times between May and October 1917. The apparition is now popularly known as Our Lady of Fátima.

On July 13, around noon, the lady is said to have entrusted the children with three secrets. Two of the secrets were revealed in 1941 in a document written by Lúcia, at the request of José da Silva, Bishop of Leiria, to assist with the publication of a new edition of a book on Jacinta. When asked by the Bishop of Leiria in 1943 to reveal the third secret, Lúcia struggled for a short period, being "not yet convinced that God had clearly authorized her to act." However, in October 1943 the bishop of Leiria ordered her to put it in writing. Lucia then wrote the secret down and sealed it in an envelope not to be opened until 1960, when "it will appear clearer." The text of the third secret was officially released by Pope John Paul II in 2000, although some claim that it was not the real secret revealed by Lucia, despite assertions from the Vatican to the contrary.

That there was such a long period of time between the alleged ‘visions’ and the actual documentation of such, should be enough to dispel any doubts.

First secret

The first secret was a vision of Hell:

Our Lady showed us a great sea of fire which seemed to be under the earth. Plunged in this fire were demons and souls in human form, like transparent burning embers, all blackened or burnished bronze, floating about in the conflagration, now raised into the air by the flames that issued from within themselves together with great clouds of smoke, now falling back on every side like sparks in a huge fire, without weight or equilibrium, and amid shrieks and groans of pain and despair, which horrified us and made us tremble with fear. The demons could be distinguished by their terrifying and repulsive likeness to frightful and unknown animals, all black and transparent. This vision lasted but an instant. How can we ever be grateful enough to our kind heavenly Mother, who had already prepared us by promising, in the first Apparition, to take us to heaven. Otherwise, I think we would have died of fear and terror.

Wow. Postulating (but not seriously) that such an entity exists, traumatizing a child with such a thing is sadistic beyond measure.

Second secret

The second secret is a statement that World War I would end and supposedly predicts the coming of World War II should God continue to be offended and if Russia does not convert. The second half requests that Russia be consecrated to the Immaculate Heart:

You have seen hell where the souls of poor sinners go. To save them, God wishes to establish in the world devotion to my Immaculate Heart. If what I say to you is done, many souls will be saved and there will be peace. The war is going to end: but if people do not cease offending God, a worse one will break out during the Pontificate of Pius XI. When you see a night illumined by an unknown light*, know that this is the great sign given you by God that he is about to punish the world for its crimes, by means of war, famine, and persecutions of the Church and of the Holy Father. To prevent this, I shall come to ask for the consecration of Russia to my Immaculate Heart, and the Communion of reparation on the First Saturdays. If my requests are heeded, Russia will be converted, and there will be peace; if not, she will spread her errors throughout the world, causing wars and persecutions of the Church. The good will be martyred; the Holy Father will have much to suffer; various nations will be annihilated. In the end, my Immaculate Heart will triumph. The Holy Father will consecrate Russia to me, and she shall be converted, and a period of peace will be granted to the world.

This secret's controversy is second only to the supposed final secret of Fátima, as it seemingly predicts both the all-encompassing World War II, the radical, bloody, and extreme anti-religion ideology of the Soviet Union; the proxy wars and limited direct confrontations that would be initiated between the Western Democracies and the Soviet Bloc. Some critics have noted that the "Prophecy" was not disclosed until August 1941, after World War II had already begun. Pope Pius XII subsequently consecrated Russia on July 7, 1952, not long before the death of Stalin and the subsequent destalinization campaigns of Khrushchev, and almost 40 years before the fall of Communism.

Also note that the ‘Prophecy’ was not only undisclosed until 1941, but that it ‘occurred’ in the same year as the Bolshevik Revolution. And, as we all know, consecration has about the same impact as sticking needles into voodoo dolls (read: NONE).

Third secret

The third part of the secret was written down "by order of His Excellency the Bishop of Leiria and the Most Holy Mother ..." on 3 January 1944. Bishop Silva, visiting Lúcia on 15 September 1943 while she was bed-ridden, first suggested that she write the third secret down to ensure that it would be recorded in the event of her death. Lucia was hesitant to do so, however. Finally, in mid-October, Bishop Silva sent her a letter containing a direct order to record the secret, and Lúcia obeyed. In June 1944, the sealed envelope containing the third secret was delivered to Silva, where it stayed until 1957, when it was finally delivered to Rome.

So, did you catch that? Lucia had the vision in 1917, for the ‘third secret’, but didn’t put it to paper until 1943? That sounds inherently untrustworthy on multiple levels.

It was announced on 13 May 2000, 83 years after the first apparition of the Lady to the children in the Cova da Iria, that the third secret would finally be released. The text was published on 26 June 2000:

J.M.J.
The third part of the secret revealed at the Cova da Iria-Fátima, on 13 July 1917.
I write in obedience to you, my God, who command me to do so through his Excellency the Bishop of Leiria and through your Most Holy Mother and mine.
After the two parts which I have already explained, at the left of Our Lady and a little above, we saw an Angel with a flaming sword in his left hand; flashing, it gave out flames that looked as though they would set the world on fire; but they died out in contact with the splendour that Our Lady radiated towards him from her right hand: pointing to the earth with his right hand, the Angel cried out in a loud voice: 'Penance, Penance, Penance!'. And we saw in an immense light that is God: ‘something similar to how people appear in a mirror when they pass in front of it' a Bishop dressed in White 'we had the impression that it was the Holy Father'. Other Bishops, Priests, men and women Religious going up a steep mountain, at the top of which there was a big Cross of rough-hewn trunks as of a cork-tree with the bark; before reaching there the Holy Father passed through a big city half in ruins and half trembling with halting step, afflicted with pain and sorrow, he prayed for the souls of the corpses he met on his way; having reached the top of the mountain, on his knees at the foot of the big Cross he was killed by a group of soldiers who fired bullets and arrows at him, and in the same way there died one after another the other Bishops, Priests, men and women Religious, and various lay people of different ranks and positions. Beneath the two arms of the Cross there were two Angels each with a crystal aspersorium in his hand, in which they gathered up the blood of the Martyrs and with it sprinkled the souls that were making their way to God.
Tuy-3-1-1944.

That, my friends, is one helluva fever-induced hallucination. And here’s a nice surprise: the voice of skepticism is none other than Benedictine himself!

Along with the text of the secret, then-Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger published a theological commentary, in which he states that:

"A careful reading of the text of the so-called third 'secret' of Fatima ... will probably prove disappointing or surprising after all the speculation it has stirred. No great mystery is revealed; nor is the future unveiled."

After explaining the differences between public and private revelations, he cautions people not to see in the message a determined future event:

"The purpose of the vision is not to show a film of an irrevocably fixed future. Its meaning is exactly the opposite: it is meant to mobilize the forces of change in the right direction. Therefore we must totally discount fatalistic explanations of the “secret”, such as, for example, the claim that the would-be assassin of 13 May 1981 was merely an instrument of the divine plan guided by Providence and could not therefore have acted freely, or other similar ideas in circulation. Rather, the vision speaks of dangers and how we might be saved from them."

He then moves on to talk about the symbolic nature of the images, noting that:

"The concluding part of the 'secret' uses images which Lucia may have seen in devotional books and which draw their inspiration from long-standing intuitions of faith."

As for the meaning of the message:

"What remains was already evident when we began our reflections on the text of the 'secret': the exhortation to prayer as the path of 'salvation for souls' and, likewise, the summons to penance and conversion."

The reason any of these ridiculous assertions were given any credence whatsoever, was the Miracle of the Sun:

The Miracle of the Sun (Portuguese: O Milagre do Sol) is an alleged miraculous event witnessed by as many as 100,000 people on 13 October 1917 in the Cova da Iria fields near Fátima, Portugal. Those in attendance had assembled to observe what the Portuguese secular newspapers had been ridiculing for months as the absurd claim of three shepherd children that a miracle was going to occur at high-noon in the Cova da Iria on October 13, 1917.

According to many witness statements, after a downfall of rain, the dark clouds broke and the sun appeared as an opaque, spinning disk in the sky. It was said to be significantly less bright than normal, and cast multicolored lights across the landscape, the shadows on the landscape, the people, and the surrounding clouds. The sun was then reported to have careened towards the earth in a zigzag pattern, frightening some of those present who thought it meant the end of the world. Some witnesses reported that their previously wet clothes became "suddenly and completely dry.”

This account becomes a little more clear with accumulated detail:

Estimates of the number of witnesses range from 30,000-40,000 by Avelino de Almeida, writing for the Portuguese newspaper O Século, to 100,000, estimated by Dr. Joseph Garrett, professor of natural sciences at the University of Coimbra, both of whom were present that day.

Those are obviously guesses, and not good ones either: how does one guesstimate these sort of numbers? Note the wide variance.

The most widely-cited descriptions of the events reported at Fatima are taken from the writings of John De Marchi, an Italian Catholic priest and researcher. De Marchi spent seven years in Fátima, from 1943 to 1950, conducting original research and interviewing the principals at undisturbed length. In The Immaculate Heart, published in 1952, De Marchi reports that, "[t]heir ranks (those present on 13 October) included believers and non-believers, pious old ladies and scoffing young men. Hundreds, from these mixed categories, have given formal testimony. Reports do vary; impressions are in minor details confused, but none to our knowledge has directly denied the visible prodigy of the sun."

Um…if one actually does read some of the document descriptions, the impressions vary on major details. As to the critical evaluation of the event:

De Marchi claims that the prediction of an unspecified "miracle", the abrupt beginning and end of the alleged miracle of the sun, the varied religious backgrounds of the observers, the sheer numbers of people present, and the lack of any known scientific causative factor make a mass hallucination unlikely. That the activity of the sun was reported as visible by those up to 18 kilometers away, also precludes the theory of a collective hallucination or mass hysteria, according to De Marchi.

De Marchi, however, was a Catholic priest, and as such, more prone to grandiose rhetoric.

Despite these assertions, not all witnesses reported seeing the sun "dance". Some people only saw the radiant colors. Others, including some believers, saw nothing at all. No scientific accounts exist of any unusual solar or astronomic activity during the time the sun was reported to have "danced", and there are no witness reports of any unusual solar phenomenon further than forty miles out from Cova da Iria.

Pio Scatizzi, S.J. describes events of Fátima and concludes

The ... solar phenomena were not observed in any observatory. Impossible that they should escape notice of so many astronomers and indeed the other inhabitants of the hemisphere… there is no question of an astronomical or meteorological event phenomenon …Either all the observers in Fátima were collectively deceived and erred in their testimony, or we must suppose an extra-natural intervention.

Steuart Campbell, writing for the 1989 edition of Journal of Meteorology, postulated that a cloud of stratospheric dust changed the appearance of the sun on 13 October, making it easy to look at, and causing it to appear yellow, blue, and violet and to spin. In support of his hypothesis, Mr. Campbell reports that a blue and reddened sun was reported in China as documented in 1983.

Joe Nickell, a skeptic and investigator of paranormal phenomena, claims that the position of the phenomenon, as described by the various witnesses, is at the wrong azimuth and elevation to have been the sun. He suggests the cause may have been a sundog. Sometimes referred to as a parhelion or "mock sun", a sundog is a relatively common atmospheric optical phenomenon associated with the reflection/refraction of sunlight by the numerous small ice crystals that make up cirrus or cirrostratus clouds. A sundog is, however, a stationary phenomenon, and would not explain the reported appearance of the "dancing sun". Nickell suggests an explanation for this and other similar phenomena may lie in temporary retinal distortion, caused by staring at the intense light and/or by the effect of darting the eyes to and fro so as to avoid completely fixed gazing (thus combining image, afterimage and movement). Nickell concludes that there was

likely a combination of factors, including optical and meteorological phenomena (the sun being seen through thin clouds, causing it to appear as a silver disc; an alteration in the density of the passing clouds, so that the sun would alternatively brighten and dim, thus appearing to advance and recede; dust or moisture droplets in the atmosphere, imparting a variety of colors to sunlight; and/or other phenomena).

Paul Simons, in an article entitled "Weather Secrets of Miracle at Fátima", states that he believes it possible that some of the optical effects at Fatima may have been caused by a cloud of dust from the Sahara.

Kevin McClure claims that the crowd at Cova da Iria may have been expecting to see signs in the sun, as similar phenomena had been reported in the weeks leading up to the miracle. On this basis he believes that the crowd saw what it wanted to see. But it has been objected that McClure's account fails to explain similar reports of people miles away, who by their own testimony were not even thinking of the event at the time, or the sudden drying of people's sodden, rain-soaked clothes. Kevin McClure stated that he had never seen such a collection of contradictory accounts of a case in any of the research he had done in the previous ten years, although he has not explicitly stated what these contradictions were.

Leo Madigan believes that the various witness reports of a miracle are accurate, however he alleges inconsistency of witnesses, and suggests that astonishment, fear, exaltation and imagination must have played roles in both the observing and the retelling. Madigan likens the experiences to prayer, and considers that the spiritual nature of the phenomenon explains what he describes as the inconsistency of the witnesses.

Author Lisa Schwebel claims that the event was a supernatural extra-sensory phenomenon. Schwebel notes that the solar phenomenon reported at Fátima is not unique - there have been several reported cases of high pitched religious gatherings culminating in the sudden and mysterious appearance of lights in the sky.

It has been argued that the Fátima phenomenon and many UFO sights share a common cause, or even that the phenomenon was an alien craft. see main article: The Fatima UFO Hypothesis

Many years after the events in question, Stanley L. Jaki, a professor of physics at Seton Hall University, New Jersey, Benedictine priest and author of a number of books reconciling science and Catholicism, proposed a unique theory about the supposed miracle. Jaki believes that the event was natural and meteorological in nature, but that the fact the event occurred at the exact time predicted was a miracle.

The event was officially accepted as a miracle by the Roman Catholic Church on 13 October 1930. On 13 October 1951, papal legate Cardinal Tedeschini told the million gathered at Fátima that on 30 October, 31 October, 1 November, and 8 November 1950, Pope Pius XII himself witnessed the miracle of the sun from the Vatican gardens.

So Pope Pius actually witnessed this 4 times in 1950? Which ‘miracle’? The sundog, the ‘dancing sun’?

While much of this is paramount to mass hysteria on a more subliminal level, here’s the topic I’d like to broach: how did the 3 shepherd children know about the day that the alleged event occurred?  Do note that mock suns have been known to astronomers since Aristotle’s time.

Discuss among yourselves.

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Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Can You Hear The Lambs Screaming, Clarice?

So I took this quiz – and guess who I scored as?


You Scored as Hannibal Lecter

You got Hannibal the Cannibal, yum!!!

Jason Vourghees
 
81%
Michal Meyers
 
63%
Leatherface
 
56%
Hannibal Lecter
 
44%
Buffalo Bill
 
13%

Of course these are all fictional characters – but I actually put down Strongly Disagree on the Cannibalism question, and still got old Hannibal the cannibal? Hmmm…. 

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Saturday, June 20, 2009

Allegories Gone Wild – Abducted By An Angel? Say What?

Nephelim photo

Cross posted @ God is 4 suckers!

1 Enoch 39:1–And it shall come to pass in those days that the elect and holy children will descend from the high heavens, and their seed will become one with the children of men.

Let it be said – I rather enjoy trolling the deep, sometimes stagnant waters of the Internet. Because regardless of what you’re looking for, you’ll stumble upon some truly mind-boggling material. In this episode, I discovered a truly strange and difficult (to read) site that tries to amalgamate modern technology with ancient Hebraic text.

"At that time I beheld the Ancient of Days, while he sat upon the throne of his glory, while the book of the living
was opened in his presence, and while all the powers which were above the heavens stood around and before him." Book of Enoch 47:3 (Ethiopic, Artisan pub)

Since it's English translation in the 1800's from texts found in Ethiopia in 1768, The Book of Enoch (known today as 1st Enoch) has made quite a stir in academic circles. 1 Enoch has been authenticated as existing and in wide use before the church age (most scholars now date it at 200 BC). Multiple copies were discovered in 1948 in the Dead Sea Scrolls. This of course has caused many to wonder why it is not included in modern Bibles...

Because it’s considered Pseudepigrapha, which translated for the layman means: “are falsely attributed works, texts whose claimed authorship is unfounded; a work, simply, "whose real author attributed it to a figure of the past.” (Of course, this covers a huge percentile of the wholly bibble as we know it anyways, but when the crazies exclude crazy work, well, that says something about the work in question, does it not?)

Particular to this site, parts of The Book of Enoch tell the story of wicked angels who abducted and mated with human women, resulting in the hybrid race known throughout secular and Biblical history as the Nephilim (giants, KJV).

Ah…secular history? Umm…no proof that they ever existed? Hello?

While this account encompasses only the first four verses of Genesis 6 (but see also Genesis 3:15, 2 Peter 2:4-6, Jude 6-7), Enoch 1 relates this story in great detail. It lists the names of 18 "prefect" angels - of 200 - who committed this sin. According to the text, these angels also taught mankind the "making of swords and knives, shields and breastplates (metallurgy); ... magical medicine, dividing of roots (medicinal and hallucinogenic use); incantations, astrology, the seeing of the stars, the course of the moon, as well as the deception of man."

I gotta admit, it makes great copy. But there’s no reality behind any of this.

By Noah's time, "The earth also was corrupt (wasting - KJV notation) before God, and the earth was filled with violence... all flesh had corrupted his way upon the earth." Gen 6:10-11. Afraid of the consequences, these angels appeal to Enoch to intercede with God on their behalf; God instead uses Enoch to deliver a message of judgment against them. Aside from the "taking of wives," God states that he would not forgive them for teaching mankind magical arts and warlike ways.

Which of course, ‘gawd’ was supposed to know all this beforehand, but kids will be kids, won’t they?

"According to the Book of Enoch (Not a Canonical Text), God judged the angels for producing the Nephilim. God decreed that the fallen angels (Watchers) were to be cast into Tartarus. The Nephilim were also judged and it was determined that their bodies were to return to the earth in peace but their souls were doomed to wander the earth forever (as) wandering spirits..."

Tartarus? That place exclusive to Greek Mythology, where the wicked are sent for their sins? Yeah…that’s a slight indicator that the writer isn’t who he claims to be, isn’t it?

Here’s a kicker:

The increasing acceptance and popularization of this important book among theologians helps cast light on the extra-terrestrial hypothesis (ETH) in general. Enoch is an ancient writing which states that angels (not true space aliens, as stated by many UFO cults, and popular modern authors Erich Von Daniken and Zechariah Sitchin) visited ancient Earth and polluted mankind's DNA. While this case can easily be made solely from the canonized Bible , Enoch is yet another witness against these bad interpretations of Earth's predelulvian era (i.e., before the flood of Genesis 6). The fact that they also gave mankind technology which supposedly "advanced our race" (but which we actually used to destroy each other, and to incur God's judgment), lends itself to a more sinister understanding of today's UFO phenomenon...

(Yeah, let’s ignore the reality that there is absolutely no proof that the Deluge ever occurred, outside of a bunch of shared mythological stories.)

So, get it straight people! Those tall grey androgynous humanoids aren’t really aliens, they’re actually angels (all this based on an unrecognized text rejected from a book of fables)  flying around on Ezekiel’s wheeled chariot. Doubtless this clown has his own theory based on non-canonical pseudepigrapha which explains why they regularly hand out  prostate exams to drunken rednecks out in Bumfuck, Egypt.

To paraphrase the Beatles: the crazy people, where do they all come from?

Till the next post then.

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