left biblioblography: Allegories Gone Wild: Bye Bye To Beck, Good Riddance To Bad Rubbish

Sunday, January 31, 2016

Allegories Gone Wild: Bye Bye To Beck, Good Riddance To Bad Rubbish

Hey guess what people? Glen Beck, rhetorical idiot extraordinaire, is deporting himself!

  Beck says he’s getting ready to flee to Israel for end times

  Glenn Beck hosted a studio audience on his television program last night, where he revealed that he has ordered his staff to find a location outside of the United States from which he can continue to broadcast his programs once American society collapses and the government shuts down his network.

What a surprise he’s in for: ain’t gonna happen.

  Beck fielded a question from a woman who had relocated her family from California to Texas based upon Beck's warnings of a coming social collapse and wanted Beck's advice on how best to prepare her children for what is to come, to which Beck responded that he and his wife are going to start reading the apocalyptic "Left Behind" series to their own children in preparation for the End Times.

Talk about the blind leading the blind! And they’ll probably praise the ditch and claim that it’s a sign from their imaginary friend.

  Beck revealed that he recently had conversations with two different people who warned that the American economy and social structure are on the verge of total collapse, which prompted him to tell his staff to get to work finding a location in Israel to which they can flee when it happens.

Which two people? Don’t these assclowns love name-dropping?

  "We have to pick up our pace on finding another place to broadcast," Beck told his staff. "I need to know if I can get to Jerusalem, where they won't shut this down and we can be able to broadcast into the United States. This could end quickly."

Or, to quote Malcolm from Firefly, “That’s a long wait for a train that ain’t comin’.”

  Beck's young daughter happened to be in the room when he made that declaration and was understandably upset by it, but Beck said that we cannot shield our children from the realities of the world because "they're the giants that are going to fix this, they have to know."

Newflash: your supernatural rubbish has absolutely no basis in the real world.

  As such, Beck and his wife are going to be reading the "Left Behind" series to their children because "they have to know that this might be the time ... You have an army on earth now that says they are the army of the Antichrist, they are the army of Armageddon."

Shee-it, even an atheist like me knows that the ‘Rapture’ is just another made-up story cobbled together from other disjointed fables. That’s okay: if his family is normal (supposition), they’ll likely be telling how their dad thought the world was gonna end when it didn’t, and rub his stupid nose into it. That is if they’re normal.

  Beck, of course, is doing all that he can to prevent this from happening, which is why he has endorsed Ted Cruz for president.

It’s like a bad movie. According to the Christians, it’s going to happen. And their imaginary pal would likely be somewhat upset that his ‘plans’ were thwarted. But then, we know the delusional make a point of changing goal posts at a moment’s notice.

  "This is why I'm endorsing Ted Cruz and I'm going out this weekend" to Iowa, he said. "If I could change one mind, I am not going to sit at home because I know what the consequences are."

Yeah Beck, the only minds you’re going to change are feeble ones.

But, to butcher a saying by old Billy Shakespeare, “Nothing became his country but his leaving of it.”

It’s always hard to separate the histrionics from the publicity stunts. I’m guessing the former here, and will gleefully laugh when again, Glen Blecch!, proves what an idiot he is. Which isn’t hard to do.

What would be fun, is if Congress passed a bill banning this blithering loudmouth from coming back from Israel. Hell yeah!

Till the next post then.

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