left biblioblography: Left Behind? Go Fuck A Duck, Robertson

Sunday, September 07, 2014

Left Behind? Go Fuck A Duck, Robertson

As if the willful ignorance of the American people in re: religion and its nonsense isn’t enough, we now get an earful from dipshits like Phil Robertson. Personally, I’d like to smack that red-white-‘n-blue bandana off the ignorant fuck’s head.

So it’s not enough that this ignorant hick has his own show (which I’d be happy to blissfully ignore anyway), but these backwards barbarians are now trying to exert their influence in the public sphere by putting forth the most simplistic nationalistic rhetoric that even a half-baked Republican wouldn’t stand behind.

The world is a-swirl with cause celebre opinions mouthed by woefully uninformed celebrities spouting trash (think Kirk Cameron, Jenna McCarthy, Jim Carry – jeez, there’s WAY too many of these fucktards to count). And to top all the latest codswallop off, Robertson is actually funding another Left Behind movie:

"Like most Christians, my family and I can truly say that we're excited about the soon return of Jesus"

Duck Dynasty reality star Willie Robertson is taking his star power to the movie business. The A&E star has signed on as an executive producer of upcoming Nicolas Cage starrer Left Behind.

Robertson, who has starred on the reality show about duck hunters, is featured in a new video on the faith-based film's Facebook page, revealing that he was a "silent" partner on the project.

"Like most Christians, my family and I can truly say that we're excited about the soon return of Jesus," he says. "And I'm sure if you've been watching the news lately, you know that that return could be any day now."

The film, based on the book series of the same name by Jerry B. Jenkins and Tim LaHaye, follows Rayford Steele (Cage) who is piloting a plane during the Rapture when millions of people around the globe simply vanish. On the ground, his daughter, Chloe Steele (Cassi Thomson) is among those left behind, forced to navigate a world of madness as she searches for her lost mother and brother.

"I believe people are going to make that life-changing decision to follow Christ on the way home from the theater," adds Robertson in the video.

Vic Armstrong directed the film, which hits theaters Oct. 3. Co-written by John Patus and Paul Lalonde, who is also producing alongside Michael Walker and Ed Clydesdale of Stoney Lake Entertainment, the film also stars Chad Michael Murray, Nicky Whelan, Quinton Aaron and Jordin Sparks.

Yeah, bad news, Robertson: Jesus is a fictional character. Your entire epistemology is based on lies, not facts. And this entire movie is argumentum ad baculum at it’s very worst: Be a good little sinner, or imaginary sky-daddy is going to leave you very alone.

Honestly, I wish the wankers would leave. That would mean more resources for the rest of us, and no more of their constant hypocrisy about ‘free will’ and their enthusiasm to take it away while blathering about it.

As for Nicholas Cage: I’m pretty much done watching any of his movies anyways. Usually doing a religious movie like this spells the end of a career which was never that scintillating anyways.

People shouldn’t take the word of some furbillies living off in some swamp, whose only exposure to literature is a compilation of fairy tales told around the campfire by a bunch of Iron Age shepherds. (I know, I know, it’s too much to ask, but a man can dream.) I personally am going to take scientists far more seriously than a bunch of duck hunters, that’s for sure. The equivalent analogy would be, that I would take advice from a dentist, not the idiot who yanked his bad tooth out by tying it to a big door and slamming the door.

Seriously, a lot of people get to picket movies, some  of them for stupid pitiful reasons. As atheists, I think we should gather protesters around the USA, and march with placards announcing ‘the Rapture will never happen: we are in midst of the Crapture’ (or something like that: mottos/jingles aren’t my forte).

And this belief in oncoming doom? It destroys lives. How many people are not going to even try to improve themselves, their lives, or other peoples’ lives, because the sky is falling?

So Robertson: your ill-earned profits would’ve been better applied to ending world hunger, boosting educational resources, or given to some REAL charity, rather than putting together a movie for an apocalypse that’ll never arrive.

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