Voices In Your Head? Is There An App For That, Or Should You Just Get Therapy?

Cross posted @ the Atheist Oasis

90% of everything is crap – ‘Sturgeon’s Law’

It is an endless source of amusement, how stupidity outsmarts humanity on a regular basis.

Take this for instance:

Priest Says The Devil Texted Him after Failed Exorcism

A priest has been claiming that he received bizarre text messages from a demonic spirit after carrying out a failed exorcism. Reportedly, the spirit has been berating and threatening the priest ever since he failed to prove his expertise in what he claims to know best – exorcising demons.

Marian Rajchel, a priest who lives in Poland, insisted that his problems started after a supposedly possessed girl from his community was brought to him to be rid of the devil. Soon after Rajchel tried to exorcise the demons out of her, something he believes he did not succeed in doing, he started receiving filthy text messages from the devil.

“The author of these texts is an evil spirit who has possessed her soul. Often the owners of mobile phones are not even aware that they are being used like this. However, in this case it is clear,” he said.

Apparently, the messages said things like the girl would not come out of hell, she belongs to the devil, and anyone that prays for her will be killed. The priest responded to the first message, not knowing that he was communicating with the devil, which is when he received another text message berating him.

“Shut up, preacher. You cannot save yourself. Idiot. You pathetic old preacher,” it read.

This wanker did an epic fail (do the kids still call it that?) because

1. There’s no such things as demons, and
2. Obviously someone’s fucking with this guy.

For even more surreal hilarity, there’s this bit of folderol:

Shut Up Devil Smartphone App to Help People Silence Satan

A new app that has been designed for both iPhones as well as Android phones offers users the power to silence Satan. Created by evangelist Kyle Winkler, the Shut Up Devil app, offers users topical messages from the scriptures that is supposed to help them in times of spiritual conflict.

“‘The Shut Up, Devil!’ app is inspired by my own journey through spiritual warfare. A couple years ago, I awoke to a series of condemning thoughts and nagging accusations, reminding me of my every sin since potty training. The constant negative thoughts made me feel disqualified to be used of God, and nearly caused me to walk away from ministry,” said Winkler.

Convinced that he was being attacked by the Devil, Winkler tried to develop a newfound understanding of the scripture.

“I turned to Scripture as a way to help. Throughout the Bible, it refers to the importance of Scripture to help with renewal of the mind and in spiritual warfare. The Psalms instruct us to meditate upon scripture day and night (Psalm 1:2). And those who have observed Jewish people doing this know that this involves speaking it,” he said.

Winkler explained how some figures in the Bible including Jesus and Paul used the scriptures to fight the Devil. He said that reading out Bible verses aloud could truly help Christians’ minds to focus on Christ and ward off Satan and all of his minions.

The iPhone version of the app was launched in October 2013 but the Android version was launched only recently. According to the creator, the platform allows users to look up verses based on certain subjects like discouragement, anxiety, so on and so forth.

Thereafter, users can set alarms and reminders for when the verses need to read out aloud.

Wow. I keep trying to dial 666-666-6666, but it gives me a ‘your number cannot be completed as dialed’. Has anyone got his number? What’s that? Old Scratch was just a cautionary tale spun outta control? Gotcha.

I’d advise this bozo to start taking some anti-psychotics, but he’s too busy making money off of his (and other people’s) stupidity.

And as an addendum, the wholly bibble is 99.999999% crap. The occasional historical fact is the remaining 00.000001 percent.

Till the next post then.