Allegories Gone Wild: A War On Tugs, Or A Tug Of War?

^{Cross posted @ the Atheist Oasis}

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Then Judah said to Onan, “Sleep with your brother’s wife and fulfill your duty to her as a brother-in-law to raise up offspring for your brother.” ⁹ But Onan knew that the child would not be his; so whenever he slept with his brother’s wife, he spilled his semen on the ground to keep from providing offspring for his brother. ¹⁰ What he did was wicked in the Lord’s sight; so the Lord put him to death also. – Genesis, Chapter 38

But Rosie, you're all right
(You wear my ring)
When you hold me tight
(Rosie, that's my thing)
When you turn out the light
(I got to hand it to me)
Looks like it's me and you again tonight, Rosie – Jackson Browne, Rosie

Courtesy of the Atheist Republic:

Mormons Release Video Declaring War on Masturbation

 

It’s time to cry havoc, and let slip the floggers of war. (oh…all right. Not very good. Trot out your own damned euphemisms then.)

It seems as if the Mormon church is trying to get a handle on this ‘problem’. But hey, wait: how is it a problem? It isn’t. It’s a normal, natural step for people to understand  their own sexuality. In fact, most professionals say that it’s actually quite healthy (unless of course, the practice interferes with relationships, work, or general intercourse with other people).

So why do these wearers-of-holy-underwear, these baptizers-of-the-dead, these polygamous sanctimonious purveyors of a hat-born religion give a rat’s ass in a whirlwind what anyone does with their privates in private? That’s right – because old Scratch is giving us all hand-jobs to lure us away from Jebus.

All because some nitwit in the lying bible made up a story about sperm landing in the dirt.

Ridiculous.

Till the next post, then.