Of all the wild variations of cultism spawned by religion, the ones that tickle me most (in between the bouts of startled laughter) are the creationists, be they Young Earth or Old Earth (at least the latter are somewhat inclined towards evidence).
And the former? Wow, talk about crazy – the upcoming tidbit of teleological rubbish stems from this particular site – try not to let teh crazy overwhelm your senses.
BIBLICAL CREATION - Scientific Proof
MARS REPORT: No Life
Even though many thousands of scientists today do not believe that the theory of evolution has any scientific merit, our nation continues to spend many millions of dollars in searching for extraterrestrial life in deep space and within our solar system. This is because much of the scientific community is still clinging to a theory which has already been shown by the sciences of geology, thermodynamics, chemistry, microbiology and genetics to be as impossible as anything could be considered to be impossible in science. This statement is based on the numerous advances in modern technology which continuously provide evidences which discredit the evolution theory.
‘Thousands of scientists’? Are you kidding me? I raise to the power of Steve! (The illustration being obvious: the number of scientists named Steve alone outnumber the alleged ‘scientists’ who disagree with the science of evolution).
In addition, these same scientific disciplines also verify that the established laws of science prohibit the development of life from non-living chemicals.
Oy, there’s the old abiogenesis canard. This doesn’t disprove evolution at all. In fact, there’s some kind of proof how RNA got started.
It is not what we do not know about evolution, but what we do know about the confirmed laws of science, which falsify evolution.
Uh…hello? Evolution is a confirmed law of science?
During the initial Lunar landing missions, the Apollo astronauts were required to be quarantined until it could be determined that no pathogenic microbes were introduced from the Moon. As it turned out, no extraterrestrial microbes or biologic molecules of any kind were found on the astronauts or within any of the numerous Lunar samples.
Which is a big resounding, so fucking what?
In 1975, two U.S. space probes were launched for the purpose of landing on Mars. The Viking probes were designed to provide images of the terrain and analyze the Martian soil. One of the primary functions of the onboard laboratory was to test for organic molecules or any signs of life such as microbes. The rationale was that "since" life had evolved on Earth, some form of life must have also evolved on Mars. Scientists were hopeful that some evidence of life would be found to bolster the theory of evolution. However, the extremely expensive and sophisticated test apparatus did not detect any evidence to support evolution. Not a trace of a microbe could be found by either of the probes.
Wait – was that the metaphorical rumblings of the foundations of evolution I just felt? Never mind, it was just gas.
VIKING FAILS TO DETECT LIFE
Now using the same reasoning, if evolution had occurred on the Earth, one would expect that at least single-celled forms of life, whether plants, animals, or even viruses would have been detected either by the elaborate Martian experiments or from all the Lunar missions
I tell you what else fails – this, to impress. It’s one effin’ planet, people.
No verified forms of extraterrestrial life have ever been observed.
Radio telescopes have also been used for decades by the SETI project. SETI is the organization - Search For Extra-Terrestrial Intelligence. This organization is funded with millions of dollars each year and is managed by NASA. Scientists, including the late Carl Sagan, have been looking for pulsed signals from outer space. These scientists are prepared to accept any basic signal which can be interpreted as coded information as proof of the existence of extraterrestrial life (aliens). No such signals have yet been received, however, this same scientific community refuses to acknowledge the origin of the enormous encyclopedic quantity of complex information which has been found.
Of course, that analogy is seriously broken.
THE DISCOVERY OF THE DNA MOLECULE HAS UNCOVERED THE MOST ORDERED INFORMATION SEQUENCE IN THE UNIVERSE
Of course, the ‘white paper’ blathers on at length about DNA – of course, no mention of pseudogenes, or for that matter, anything that resembles the slightest lick of the tongue of science (ooh!). I’ll skip ahead to some of the funniest ‘statistics’ you’ve likely ever seen.
Bible believing Christians maintain that man was created in God’s image and likeness, therefore it is difficult to understand how this could include a transition from apes. In fact, the clear teaching of the Bible states that man was created fully mature about six thousand years ago. (Genesis 1)
Yes, despite all archeological proof to the contrary, like the Harrapan civilization.
PEOPLE OFTEN ASK HOW THE 6000 YEARS IS DETERMINED.
No one Bible scripture states this and perhaps this is because God knew that man has been known to attempt to explain away any one particular scripture. The 6000 years is determined by adding the total chronological time span of the Biblical patriarchs to the date of established historical events such as the birth of Christ.
Or maybe they made all that shit up.
Some say that the genealogy of the patriarchs contain gaps. They claim that generations might be missing because each descendent listed in Genesis may not have been a son but rather a grandson or great grandson etc. This possibility is irrelevant because the time span between these births is mathematically fixed no matter how many generations may have been missing.
Wait – a resounding WTF? These people can’t even agree on life spans. No proof that anyone can live past 150. Fixed how?
All the time lines of the stated genealogies link together to form an accurate continuous chronology.
Too risible.
Several textual discrepancies have arisen between the Greek Septuagint and the Hebrew Masoretic texts. These only amount to several hundred years therefore, the 6000 years+ recorded history of man stands. There is no rational way to stretch this figure to millions of years!
Christlation: “I don’t want to believe the evidence, ergo, the evidence doesn’t prove it!”
Evolutionists, including those who teach at many Christian colleges, believe that man is simply a higher form of ape who evolved by chance. According to this popular theory, the genus "Homo" has been evolving for about 2,500,000 years.
Well, only if reality is ‘popular’…
Now this hypothesis can be mathematically tested and compared with the account of creation to establish which is more plausible. We need only compare the quantity of physical remains of man found on the planet Earth with the expected numbers which should remain as fossils or unfossilized bones. After all, the evolutionists have assured us that fossils, in general, have been preserved for hundreds of millions of years.
Let the stupidity begin:
The equation for human population growth is:
P= poert
P = present human population
po = initial human population of 2 people
e = natural logarithm base (2.718)
r = annual growth rate
t = time in years
The current annual growth rate is 1.7%. However, examination of population figures throughout recorded history, which takes into account plagues and wars, indicate that the average growth rate is closer to .5%. Now let's be extremely conservative and not even consider all the expected remains which would have accumulated from Homo erectus and Homo habilis which supposedly have been reproducing for several million years. We are also going to severely limit the calculation to the expected number of graves which modern man would have left, and then for ONLY 100,000 years instead of the 200,000 years proposed by many evolutionists. Going further, the population growth rate will be reduced to .1%.
Using these extremely conservative numbers in the above equation yields the Earth’s total population of Homo sapiens which would have lived and died : 5.3(10)43
This number is 5 with 43 zeros after it. This population is a whopping incomprehensible astronomical number! Let me boil this down to the expected number of graves (remains/fossils) per acre.
NUMBER OF ACRES ON THE EARTH
3.7(10)10
Each acre of ground should contain 1.44(10)33 bodies per acre
If the evolutionary scenario is even remotely true then:
Every time and every where a spade is put in the ground, it should come up filled with modern human bones!
This would be most impressive – if I were a drooling moron, that is. The variables that intersect this are just staggering. Akaline soil that eats away at bone matter, for one. Prevalence of scavengers cracking open the bones for marrow. Erosion. Extreme weather variations pounding away at the remains. Some tribes (the Parsees for one) practice air burials. Cannibalism. Let’s not even calculate SIDS among the ‘noble savages’, the tolls wars take on bodies, burials at sea or drowning (how much you wanna bet corpses don’t settle into the silt like they claim in the movies, huh?), tectonic plate shifts, lava/magma, I mean, all the variables that aren’t factored into this alleged ‘equation’.
PZ Meyers at Pharyngula pharyangulates this fairly easily via this post.
As a matter of fact, no matter how deep the excavation or how many miles you probed the Earth with a test boring--you would come up with human remains. Remember this does not even include the entire genus "Homo" whose remains could not be contained in the entire globe of the Earth even if it were hollow.
(My eyes are rolling up so high, I can see the bottom of my brain!)
BIBLICAL SCENARIO:
We are now in a position to compare this unrealistic situation with the clear teaching of the Bible.
Initial Population after the flood: 8 people
Growth rate : .428%
Time: 4750 years (since the Flood)
EXPECTED EARTH’S POPULATION:
5.38(10)9
As you can see, this figure agrees with the current population of our planet (see graph). It is clear that the population growth figures are undeniably in accord with the Biblical account of Noah’s flood as opposed to the utter foolishness of evolution theory.
So, to nutshell:
No life on Mars disproves evolution, and so does the fact that we’re not tripping over human bones when we pull weeds. So the planet isn’t a vast graveyard, this proves what? Nothing, except these people don’t seem to be living in the same world as we are.
(Do note, I provide this for us all as a flashcard: because someday, some way, one of us may encounter these ridiculous ‘theories’, and better to be prepared, than to stand there ‘tasered by the devil’ as Lewis Black puts it.)
This has been the Apostate, finding crazy shit on the web so you don’t have to.
It is now eight years later, since that fateful day, when Muslim extremists struck at our country, and committed an atrocity that will endure in our collective memories, an act of savage genocide struck against innocents, where rivers of people not caught in the blaze poured out of windows in a river of flesh and blood.
- We will give water to everyone provided Putin immediately stops the war, sends all his troops to the barracks and begins the withdrawal of his troops; 
