Monday, January 29, 2007


I've been perusing Worldnutdaily, reading these columns by Chuck Norris.

The man's entitled to his opinion, as am I. Thus far, am thoroughly unimpressed by his lack of knowledge in matters American.

Here is a column, dated November 2006, in which he regurgitates some of the more stale canards of the Religious Right.

"Don't Speak About Religion And Politics?

"Over the past couple of years there has been much debate over the civil display of religious inscriptions, like the Ten Commandments (also called the Decalogue).

"I was shocked to read this past week Bob Unruh's exclusives on WND about how the U.S. Supreme Court is even now silencing the truths about the Commandments in its own building.

"People often say to stay clear of discussing religion and politics. True patriots don't do that. That is why I will address both in this article.

"Revolutionary Thought about the Decalogue

"I've learned some things recently about the Ten Commandments and the foundations of our country, excellently documented by David Barton and Wall Builders"

David Barton? The compiler of bogus 'quotes' by the founders? Barton's a lying hack, and I CAN prove that. However, Barton's pandering to the lowest common denominator: anyone who'll listen.

"Historians dismiss Barton's work, with Derek Davis, director of the JM Dawson Institute of Church-State Studies at Baylor University, saying "He's not a trained historian. He can be very convincing to an uninitiated audience. He's intelligent. He's well-spoken. But a lot of what he presents is a distortion of the truth." [8] But Barton is widely respected among the Religious Right, with Sen. Sam Brownback praising Barton’s work for providing "the philosophical underpinning for a lot of the Republican effort in the country today -- bringing God back into the public square.” [9]"

I'll skip down a few paragraphs:

"The fact is our Founding Fathers introduced the tenets of the Ten Commandments not only into their families but into law, to promote civility and morality for everyone."

Oy vey! Not only is this incorrect, it shows a distinct lack of knowledge as to the Decalogue as opposed to the Septalogue.

First off, the Decalogue was intended for Jews only. It's the Septalogue (the Noahide laws for gentiles) that apply to non-Jews.

Secondly, our laws are by no means founded on the Decalogue. Witness:

"In truth, the alliance between Church and State in England has ever made their judges accomplices in the frauds of the clergy; and even bolder than they are. For instead of being contented with these four surreptitious chapters of Exodus, they have taken the whole leap, and declared at once that the whole Bible and Testament in a lump, make a part of the common law; ante 873: the first judicial declaration of which was by this same Sir Matthew Hale. And thus they incorporate into the English code laws made for the Jews alone, and the precepts of the gospel, intended by their benevolent author as obligatory only in foro concientiæ; and they arm the whole with the coercions of municipal law. In doing this, too, they have not even used the Connecticut caution of declaring, as is done in their blue laws, that the laws of God shall be the laws of their land, except where their own contradict them; but they swallow the yea and nay together. Finally, in answer to Fortescue Aland's question why the ten commandments should not now be a part of the common law of England? we may say they are not because they never were made so by legislative authority, the document which has imposed that doubt on him being a manifest forgery." - Thomas Jefferson.

I will skip over to something that seems to be another staple in the lies of the Religious Right:

"In the U.S. House of Representatives, Moses is the only one of twenty-three law givers facing with a full-frontal view, still staring down on the proceedings."

Mr. Norris doesn't seem to have ever been there. Neither have I. But, as shown here, Moses' prominence is not quite all that prominent (this is the Library of Congress, by the way):

"Above the marble columns surrounding the room are eight statues symbolizing fields of knowledge along with appropriate inscriptions. Sixteen bronze statues along the balustrade represent men known for their accomplishments in those fields: philosophy, Plato and Sir Francis Bacon; art, Michelangelo and Ludwig von Beethoven; history, Herodotus and Edward Gibbon; Commerce, Columbus and Robert Fulton; religion, St. Paul and Moses; science, Sir Isaac Newton and Joseph Henry; law, Solon and James Kent; poetry, William Shakespeare and Homer."

It's the House of Representatives' chamber that bears what are known as bas-reliefs, in which Moses is seated next to Hammurabi.

So Norris goes on a tirade about this nonsense:

"Friends, I am a patriot and an optimist at heart. I must admit, however, that recent attempts these past few years to suppress the truths about our country's heritage are raising even my blood pressure. "

Hey, sport, I'm a patriot too. But this monochromatic viewpoint doesn't work: it never really has. All of the Founders were religious, to some degree, including the Big Three: Jefferson, Franklin, Paine. Deists all. Did religion have some play in the founding of this country? Sure it did. But this sort of approach in the 21st century has all the earmarks of brownshirts.

"I believe the voices of our Fathers echo down through the generations in hope of helping us remedy the rampant degradation in our nation. "

Aye caramba! God at gunpoint, is what I get from this. "Behave the way we tell you to!" Let's never mind that just about every major society (including those who were by and large untouched by your religion) has implemented these rules: they're just sense, is all. No 'hand from on high' needed.

"I, as with many of you, still believe we can remain a great country, but that will only be accomplished by rising up new generations of decent, law-abiding, people-loving, and God-fearing citizens. "

Can you say 'Free will', boys and girls? And those of us who don't believe in gawd?

"And how can we create such a society? "

Translation: we're screwed.

"I believe our Founding Fathers had the answer: by not being afraid to establish some common absolutes, a code of conduct, like the Ten Commandments. "

Consider yourself corrected, Mr. Norris. Our laws were built on English common law, which was in effect in the 7th century in England, prior to the coming of Christianity.

What you're demanding, as I see it, is extra privileges. Standard fare for the hyperreligious.

You don't get those. Neither do I. Why? Because we're equals. In the eyes of the Law. I don't recognize your book, or your deity. I will not take dictation from a crowd of zombie worshippers: I shall not have your set of rules forced down my throat. I will certainly not appreciate your side's efforts at revisionism. Because that's what it is, pure and simple.

So I advise you get off your high horse, Mr. Norris. This country isn't just for Christians. This isn't your country: it isn't my country either. It's our country, and it's founded on equal liberties for all, minority as well as majority.

Get over it.

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karen said...

Is Norris running for office somewhere? Supporting someone? Brownback perhaps? Why is he being so vociferously political?

Krystalline Apostate said...

Hi Karen.
As far as I know, he's been Born Again for a while now. He's become notoriously pro-prayer in school, pro-'good old days values', all the standard propaganda.
Seems to happen to a lotta actors when they get older.
I just wish these folks would take the old 'kingdom not of this earth' saying a tad more seriously than they do.

beepbeepitsme said...

Chuck can tell me about god and his religious quest for dominionism when he stops getting a facelift every couple of years.

That goatee looked suspiciously a little too curly...

karen said...

"That goatee looked suspiciously a little too curly..."


Krystalline Apostate said...

BBIM, I don't think Chuckles gets facelifts. He practices MA, & most that do tend to stay pretty fit.
His dominionist tendencies seem to fall w/in the old adage of H.L Mencken:
"As the arteries harden, the heart softens."
As is, his stand on reinstituting prayer in school is enough to get my dander up. Let alone his stand on reproductive rights.
I've sent him an email. Perhaps he'll be good enough to grace us w/his presence.

beepbeepitsme said...

He gets at least eyelifts - check the eyes, I would bet ya he has had at least one eyelift ;)

(All women are experts at spotting plastic surgery - just ask us ..lol )

Krystalline Apostate said...

BBIM - well, it's possible, no doubt. Chances are, WND is using a younger picture of him.

Aaron Kinney said...

Random fact about Chuck Norris:

Chuck Norris was the 4th wise man. He gave Jesus the gift of "beard," which Jesus proudly wore until his death.

Sorry, while I totally think that Chuckie is off his rocker (too much total gym perhaps), the Chuck Norris facts on the internet are frickin awesome.

Krystalline Apostate said...

Hey Aaron, thanx for comin' by.
Yeah, most of those random facts are pretty funny.
I recall (from the UC Berkeley tourney), that the MA club had a forum, in which they started telling all these Norris jokes. CN dropped by, & was pretty pleasant about the whole thing.
I found out somewhat later that he promotes prayer in school, & this wingnut daily column is relatively recent.
Like C. Heston, I used to have a lotta respect for him. Not very much, anymore.

HairlessMonkeyDK said...

Hey, Uncy, if you want to read some
impressive take-downs of Wingnut-Daily columnists and other religion-rapers, go to Sadly, No!.
They're the experts.
For years they've been decoding such columns.
Their targets also include opinionaters from batshit-insane Alan Keyes' Renew America.

What more can I say but SWANK!

Pastor Swank is a fount of funny.

Krystalline Apostate said...

Hey, HMDK, you should drop by more often.
Thx for the pointer.
You realize that Swank is/used to be a men's skin rag, right? ;)

HairlessMonkeyDK said...

That just makes it so perfect.
Funny thing is, pastor Swank eventually got TOO CRAZY for even the wingnuts! Hell, he even got too crazy for America!
He's been exiled to some frozen outpost in Canada.
(I think he writes for some online thing called "mitchnews", now).
His writing skills are legendary.
"Muslim killers global" and
"Homo nups" are pure gold.

And it wasn't just a pointer, by the way... It was a damn decree:
If you haven't searched the Sadly, No! archives and read the full Saga of the Swank... well, then you don't know Funny.
And the fable of Kaye Grogan...
And Marie Jon'... Jon'!
(That apostrophe remains a mystery!).

Krystalline Apostate said...

I'll look into it - Sadly, no, huh?
Does he take a swing at CN, or no?